A Bee's Eye View

Varmints!

2010-07-15T17:32:00.003-05:00

It's amazing to me that within the span of a week, we went from having very few vegetables to having so many that we are scrambling to use them. Of course, this is why I love summer in Kansas. The bounty of this season really makes up for the grey doldrums of the fall and winter months. (Yes, I hate fall as much as winter, maybe more. It's such a tease with its sporadic mix of warm and cold days, the bright colors just before everything dies, the crisp air signifying that I'll probably have to scrape my windshield soon. Blech.) But I digress...

I had my first few tomatoes towards the end of last week and they were beautiful! I had two enormous Black Krims, which are heirlooms that upon ripening turn a purpley, stripey, black red. They are juicy and delicious and I love them!!! On Friday night, I noticed that a few of my tomatoes had bites out of them, but didn't think that much about it. I tossed an eaten one aside so the garden creatures (i.e, cotton rats, bunnies, and birds) could scavenge the remains. After all, I want to be neighborly. I left my two precious Krims on the vine so they could ripen to the perfect sweetness. I returned the next day to this:

Some varmint whaled on these tomatoes and it's happened every day since then. During my undergrad research days, my advisor of Native American descent always taught me that if you respect animals/nature and share with them, they will respect you. Well guess what? I'm not getting any respect! Using some chicken wire that appeared in the garden pile, I set up a ramshackle fence to keep the little monsters at bay:

It's sort of working. There's definitely less carnage at least. It's not great, but I was hoping it would act as a deterrent, and it has. Unfortunately for my plot neighbors Kara and Amelia, it has deterred my critters right into their plot and decimated their tomatoes. Their plot has been serving as a baby bunny buffet where the bunnies dine with impugnity. In fact, Kara only got one green bean out of their entire crop and was plunged into a legume-less depression, reduced to listening to REM's "Everybody Hurts." Now I have driven the tomato-slaying mystery creature right into their plot. I feel bad, but a delicious, juicy garden tomato is a delicious, juicy garden tomato, and I guess all's fair in love and gardening. :/

I love food!

2010-02-06T18:44:00.000-06:00

I'm slipping! I'm trying to update this blog at least once a week and it's hard. Everything has been crazy busy lately and a little stressful, but that's okay, I thrive on stress. Writing helps me deal with it and I will try to do it more often. My DH and I celebrated our 8th wedding anniversary on Tuesday. We had planned on going to dinner, but instead we both spent the evening in bed, which sounds romantic until you factor in the throwing up, stomach cramps, and tears (me, not DH). Noah had recovered from his sickness the day before so he took care of us. :)

Anyhoo, bad segway, but I finally came up with my list of food that changed my perspective on food in some way or another. I will do a blog post for each of them in greater detail, otherwise this crazy post will be 20 pages long. This way I can also dig up some photos and create more of a journal! Probably boring for the person reading, but great for me! Thus, my top ten culinary epiphanies in no particular order:

1. First sushi – Wichita, KS Ebi tempura and California rolls.

2. First Japanese food – Topeka, KS Kobe’s Japanese Steakhouse

3. Spinach and artichoke ravioli with garlic shrimp from Paisano’s. Lawrence, KS

4. Fresh crab salad- Khenitra, Morocco

5. Egyptian breakfast – Sharm el Sheikh, Egypt

6. Real Chicago style deep dish pizza - Chicago, Illinois

7. Ethiopian food- Windsor, Ontario

8. Butter chicken – Right here at India Palace in good old Lawrence.

9. Raspberry coulis – Tellers, Lawrence, KS

10. Grandma Genny’s fried chicken and the gravy with the fried crispies in it.– Rossville, KS

Mmm...Still-Beating Cobra Heart.

2010-01-24T14:37:00.000-06:00

Back to food instead of politics! I finally finished "A Cook's Tour." Loved it! Anthony Bourdain has a really great writing style and his description of his adventures are great! He brings to light everything that I enjoy about travelling and eating. I love food, no surprise there, but when I travel, even if it's within my own state, I make it a point to try local specialties. I ask the locals what they recommend. For example, when I was working in northwest Kansas last spring, I drove through Plainville. After I stopped to get gas, I asked the attendant where I should get lunch. He recommended the the local livestock salebarn and he was absolutely right. Sure, the restaurant smelled like lots and lots of cows, but my cheeseburger was extremely fresh and the steak fries were perfectly cooked and salted. One of the best I've had. That's what I appreciate about Bourdain in this book. As he travels through Vietnam, Cambodia, Morocco, Great Britain, Japan, and Scotland, he makes it a point to eat with the locals and to eat things that most tourists will never even have the opportunity to try if they don't make an effort to interact with the local people. I think that's the biggest point to take away is that food is something that connects us all. We bond with people that we eat with. We gain insight into their culture, tradition, and everyday lives. If you don't have the opportunity to eat at someone's home and instead just eat Western style buffets or fast food, you're really missing out. He describes it as going to Egypt and neglecting to see the Pyramids, and I couldn't agree more. Next time, my top culinary epiphanies...

Chuck Norris, Darth Vader, ninjas, and France's ban on the veil

2010-01-16T18:54:00.000-06:00

When we were in Egypt, I bought a niqab and black chador. I thought the niqab was about the coolest thing ever and I wore it a couple of times during sandstorms to keep sand out of my face. Inevitably, Erik would say, "Oh my God, it's a ninja!" or start humming the Imperial March signifying that Darth Vader was emerging to walk to Falfela across the street. That was his very polite way of saying that he didn't like it. Headscarf? No problem, he liked me better without hair. Abaya? Just enough curves to add to the mystery. One additional piece of fabric across my face and I became an epic villain. Thus, I come to the French...

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100115/ap_on_re_eu/eu_france_forbidding_the_veil

See, the French don't like villains like ninjas* or Darth Vader because they know at any given moment that if one of these guys shows up in France that the whole country is going to fall to the Empire or a ninja crime syndicate because they will surrender. They always surrender. The US will show up and Chewbacca will become president of France because Americans love Chewbacca! Worse yet, if ninjas show up instead, Chuck Norris may become president and everyone knows that the chief export of Chuck Norris is pain! Thus, niqabs and burqas make the French nervous.

The fact that France is willing to limit freedom of its citizens in the name of security and preservation is a contradiction in terms. By banning clothing such as burqas, France has already began to lose the freedom that it so desperately wants to preserve. In a way, they're just doing the opposite of what the Taliban have done in Afghanistan, except forcing women to wear less clothing. If the French want assimilation of Muslim immigrant populations, this ban virtually guarantees that it will never happen.

So, should women be forced to take off their niqabs or burqas? Is this simply the cost of living in a non-Muslim country, or is it fair to expect freedom of religion in a country that considers itself free?

* I've had way too much caffeine today. I can't believe I incorporated Chuck Norris, ninjas, Darth Vader, and Chewbacca into a post about France banning niqab.

Kitchen Confidential

2010-01-13T22:29:00.000-06:00

So I’m still on a cooking kick (okay, I’m ALWAYS on a cooking kick, but more so than usual) that is not being helped by the lingering cold. I just finished reading Anthony Bourdain’s Kitchen Confidential. He is a great writer and the book, while a little repetitive towards the middle, was a very enjoyable read. What I took away from it is that while I would probably make a pretty good chef from a working point of view, I should NEVER open a restaurant because I would open a restaurant for all the reasons that he claims result in utter failure. 1) I am “passionate” about cooking and food, not business (a restaurant owner needs to be passionate about business first and foremost). 2) I just think it would be a hoot to open a patisserie and name it La Belle Aurore, just like in Casablanca, one of my favorite movies. According to Bourdain, many have tried this same variation of theme and failed on an epic scale because a snappy gimmick does not a successful menu make. I am currently reading Bourdain’s A Cook’s Tour and it is even better than Kitchen Confidential. He really came into his own as a writer in this book, in my opinion. In a way, it’s a lot like Elizabeth Gilbert’s Eat, Pray, Love, if Gilbert had just stayed in Italy, got rid of her angst and instead got addicted to drugs, and didn’t whine all the damn time. I am really enjoying it. I’m not sure I could eat a soft-boiled duck embryo or stewed calf’s head, but if it were well prepared and looked to be relatively parasite free, I’d probably try it, just because he did. I’m sure I’ll be finished reading it in no time and I’ll have to update with a full review then. In the meantime, I’m trying to come up with a list of the culinary epiphanies of my life. Hopefully, I can share them both at the same time.

I also want to offer my prayers and thoughts into the world to Haiti and those affected by yesterday’s horrific earthquake. I just read that the capital, Port au Prince, is in utter ruin. For a country to have been through so much just to suffer this is devastating. God be with them and may they find comfort and recover as quickly as possible, insh’allah.

Ways to help:
International Committee of the Red Cross and Red Crescent www.icrc.org
Wyclef Jean's Yele Haiti: www.yele.org or text yele to 501501 and $5 will be charged to your cell bill
American Red Cross: Text HAITI" to 90999 to donate $10, also charged to your cell bill

Boeuf Bourguignon- Le style Danielle, and hello from the Central Pole!

2010-01-09T16:56:00.000-06:00

My friend and fellow Muslim Jessica just started a blog about her life in Saudi Arabia, which as I told her, reminds me that I need to update my blog more often. It is much easier to blog when you have a little community of people that are also blogging. Everyone sending their thoughts out into the world. Of course, my blog is decidedly less exotic. However, with all the snow and cold we've had, I can just pretend that I'm blogging from the Arctic Circle. Our temps. Thursday night were actually a little colder than Bakers Lake in Nunavut, Canada and Barrow Alaska, which are both on the Arctic Circle. Today temperatures were in the double digits and I'm not kidding, it felt balmy.

Since we've been stuck indoors, I've been trying to break my cabin fever by cleaning and organizing, reading, watching movies, and cooking. I tend to get a lot more "culinarily" adventurous in the winter because I like to cook fattening, rich recipes and those types of recipes lend themselves well to being adventurous. Even if they suck, they're probably slathered in butter, which makes everything worth eating. However, I made the mistake of watching "Julie and Julia." Judging by my inability to find a copy of Mastering the Art of French Cooking, or any cookbook put out by the Culinary Institute of America at the library (if I don't want to wait three months) or in the bookstores, a great many other people have also made the same mistake. Since then, I have been on a hunt to find adventurous recipes that are elegant in their simplicity, yet remarkable in taste. Of course, the preeminent recipe of the film was Boeuf Bourguignon (Beef Burgundy*). I haven't tried Julia Child's recipe for one reason; I like my version, no matter how unorthodox it is. It is very good and very simple. Here it is:

Boeuf Bourguignon
1 lb. cubed steak or stew meat
1 tb extra-virgin olive oil for browning
1 onion, chopped
1 can (8 oz) of cream of mushroom soup
1 small can of mushrooms, or 1 cup of sliced fresh
1/2 cup of burgundy*
2 tb unsalted butter
Salt and pepper, to taste

Dry the stew meat with a paper towel. As Julia says, if it's not dry, it won't brown properly. Heat oil in pan just until the oil looks like it wants to start smoking. Don't crowd the cubes of meat or they also won't brown properly. Remove beef from pan and let cool on paper towels. Using the same oil with the crispies, cook onions until translucent. Add the beef back into the pan, and then add the soup, mushrooms, burgundy, and butter. Season with salt and pepper to taste. Place in an oven-safe dish and bake at 350 degrees for approximately 45 minutes. Serve over wide egg noodles (my choice), or mashed potatoes, as is traditional for Boeuf Bourguignon. Bon appetit!

*I should point out that Beef Burgundy uses Burgundy wine, and because the recipe cooks out the alcohol, I use real burgundy (yes I know, another dark mark on my soul!) However, Burgundy is very dry so just use a very dry grape juice and I suspect there will be very little difference in taste.

After a long hiatus...

2009-11-03T22:30:00.000-06:00

Wow, I guess Michelle Malkin did me in! That was my last post, well over a year ago. I'm going to work really hard to update this blog more frequently, if for no other reason than that it is very therapeutic to send my thoughts out into the world. I've been contemplating changing the name of the blog since mid-twenty is no longer accurate. However, I'm not sure anyone even reads this blog so I think I'll leave it just the way it is...

Rachael Ray + Dunkin Donuts = Islamic Terror and Hatred of America

2008-05-29T17:03:00.000-05:00

I read an article yesterday about Dunkin Donuts pulling an ad with Rachael Ray where she is wearing what appears to be a shredded kaffiyeh. The ad was pulled due to an article by Fox's right-wing commentator Michelle Malkin in which she stated, "''The kaffiyeh, for the clueless, is the traditional scarf of Arab men that has come to symbolize murderous Palestinian jihad...'' Speaking of being clueless! I have to respond. Attention is always paid to poor, simple Muslim women who are forced to wear hijab and be beaten by their husbands. (Okay, I'm being facetious because this is clearly not the case.) However, when one visits North Africa and the Middle East, as I have, one of the first things that one notices is that both men and women cover their head (thus the derogatory "raghead" comments). Men often wear either a red or black kaffiyeh to symbolize whether or not they have been on Hajj. It is true that you can often see men wearing kaffiyehs who are militants, but wearing a kaffiyeh is not a sign of militancy. If anything, the ad should have been pulled on the basis that a shredded kaffiyeh is disrespectful to Arab culture because it looks like the shredding of tradition. Absurd, right? Well, so are Malkin's remarks. Hey, I have an idea! Maybe rather than worrying about a Dunkin Donuts commercial, maybe Malkin should concentrate on trying to figure out a good way to get our economy out of the toilet and to bring our troops home from Iraq. She should stick to the things she knows, rather than stereotyping an entire ethnicity based on a piece of clothing. Of course, being on Fox News, the only thing that she probably knows is ignorance so maybe she should bother to educate herself by travelling to the Middle East, or heaven forbid, read a book, rather than insulting us all with her idiocy. After all, the U.S. has bigger problems than donuts and scarves.

I caucused in a livestock area!

2008-02-05T22:01:00.000-06:00

I caucused in a livestock arena! Well, I just got back from the democratic caucus and it was utter mayhem. I was running late anyway because Noah had a playdate right after I got back from work. I swung by the house and picked Erik up. It took 45 minutes from our house to get into the Livestock Arena at the fairgrounds (ordinarily it would take about 7-10 minutes). Parking was a disaster and it hadn't even started snowing yet. There were 2,218 people who showed up and the vast majority were for Obama. (I guess the other stations were insane too, and Abe and Jakes was shut down by the fire marshal and the remaining people had to be sent elsewhere. The doors were supposed to be locked and the polling was supposed to begin at 7:00. Finally, at about 8:15 they got started. It took about an hour and it took much longer to get there and in the building than it did for the caucus to take place. It was a pretty cool experience. For anyone who doesn't know how a caucus works because the one today is the first one that we've ever had in Kansas, here's how it goes:

You go in the door and find out where your candidates supporters are gathering. You find a group of people to join and gather a group of 25. Everyone who goes in hands in a ticket. The tickets are gathered and counted to get a total number of people. After that, representatives of the candidates, in our case, elected local officials, make short speeches as to why you should vote for their candidate. (By this point, it was getting very hot and people were getting restless.) Then, since it was apparent that Obama supporters were the vast majority, they only counted Kucinich, Clinton, Richardson, and Edwards (note that several of these candidates dropped out, but they still had supporters.) To be considered a viable candidate, a candidate must get 15% of the vote. Clinton got 352 while Obama got 1,144 so she barely got 15%. Then, the supporters of the non-viable candidates "realign" and pick one of the viable candidates and delegates are awarded based on those percentages. For our station, Obama got 9 delegates and Clinton got 2.

It looks like the state as a whole is going to go to Obama, possibly because of his ties to the state. I haven't looked at the national race since I got home, but it really wasn't even a contest tonight. It was hot and miserable and I'm glad I wasn't supporting one of the non-viable candidates because Erik, Noah, and I were ready to get out of there. Noah was very patient; I think more patient than Erik who tends to get bored and destructive. Noah flirted with a pretty girl who was part of our group and kept himself pretty well entertained. He's such a pimp! Anyhoo, the process was exhausting, but very rewarding. I think I'm going to go to bed early and sleep my caucus off.

State of the Union 7: Douchebag's Last Speech

2008-01-28T21:16:00.000-06:00

Back by popular demand, my critique of Bush's State of the Union...

Alright, we are all getting a refund, but no tax increase. Is he pulling the money out of his ass? Quit clapping douchebags, he hasn’t improved anything in the last eight years, why would he start now. What is going on? Why the one-sided clapping and all of the veto threats? Does he think we are all stupid? Apparently so. There is clearly a concerted effort by Republicans to stand up and give an ovation every time he smirks. It is very annoying. I am so sick of the clapping. Wow,he just did this thing that looked just like Barty Crouch Jr. Very snakelike. NCLB, yes everyone’s worse off than before. I wouldn’t call it an improvement at all. Faith-based initiatives? Oh yes, just what we need, a Bush’s Christian style faithbi, what are they going to teach kid’s to send other kid’s off to war and then kill innocent people under the pretext of weapon’s of mass destruction. Americans don’t want to buy thing’s made in the U.S., why should we start? Colombia, purveyors’ does he mean perverts? False populism, like he just started off his speech with? Quit clapping!!! Find new jobs, except all of the jobs are overseas, kind of like tax cuts with no tax increases. Wow, people on both sides of the aisle don’t look like they’re doing very well. NUCLEAR, not nukuler. Clean technology, China isn’t a developing country, derr. Obama quit clapping or I’m not going to your caucus. Having a free ride hasn’t been a problem these last seven years. Hilary doesn’t look like she having a good night. Yes, half of our engineers are from India. Moral boundaries? This from this man. He worries about fetuses, but has no qualms about electrocuting mentally disabled people or bombing Iraqi children. Ethical medical research, all life, I guess he only cares about Americans. No cloning? I guess he better declare war on yeast and sponges. Activist judges, look at the supreme court? Charitable choice, yikes. Mary Landrieu, good for you, you didn’t stand up

8:33 Of course, we can’t afford Medicare and benefits, deficits, etc. We could fund these programs indefinitely using the money that we spend before breakfast in Iraq

Immigration- He just completely contradicted himself, enforcement yet allow immigrants in. Republicans aren’t clapping for his immigration policy either. Advancing liberty yet regressing it at home? I think Bush must be an Islamic extremist under the guise of being a Christian, that would certainly explain his tactics. Bush doesn’t

Bush just confirmed that he is a terrorist, evil men imposing their violent rule that’s him. The military guys in uniform aren’t hardly clapping, they only did when they noticed the cameras on them. Other military guy isn’t even clapping They do not look happy. That makes me want to cry. Afghani children aren’t going to school a report just said that school attendance is down in Afghanistan b/c of the resurgence of violence.

Iraq, apparently he doesn’t understand the concept of liberty. Whoa, the soldiers are not happy? What an insult to them, to lie right in front of them. No, troops have our gratitude, Bush has their blood on his hands. Iraqis are fighting the U.S.’s fight, and they don’t have a choice. They can fight or die, but if it weren’t for Bush and Cheney, they wouldn’t be doing either, even under Saddam. Actually, I OBL said that al-Qaeda was growing stronger, solemn pledge that they would have everything they need. Five years too late, wouldn’t you say? He plans to keep troops there as long as he is in office. Marines have come home and not been replaced? That doesn’t do Derek and our family much good, does it? Why is he laughing about a drawdown? He’s not giddy; I think he’s drunk. I guess it’s not his life that’s on the line. Government sharing with the provinces, aka oil companies. Mission has been difficult, but if we don’t succeed, how will we convert all Iraqis to Christianity? Perhaps he should concentrate on Darfur and Pakistan if he is worried about terrorist bases, not Iran. Pervez Musharraf, Benazir Bhutto anyone? Palestinians may have elected Abbas, but they also elected Hamas and that should be respected. Poor Michael Chertoff, he just keeps getting thinner and thinner. Soon he will just be a skeleton sitting in the gallery. E ron, no I ran. Oooh, Iran is so scary! They are just like Iraq, with all their weapons of mass destruction, oh, wait… Iraq didn’t have any. Iran did come clean about it’s nuclear program, you just didn’t like their answer

8:54 Lawful and effective measures to protect our country. You mean like illegal wiretaps? Spying on citizens? Yeah, real legal, effective, perhaps, but at what cost? The terrorists have won. Wow, half the gallery is sitting down. Compassion, conscience, not really hallmarks of his administration. He doesn’t help Darfur, yet he condemns the genocide there. Farming in the developing world? Food and supplies aren’t the problem. Distribution is, and do you think agricultural lobbies in the U.S. are going to allow competition. They can’t afford to, and the corporate farmers aren’t going to allow the competition. Funding for veterans, too little too late? When Iraqi war veterans stop coming to soup kitchens, then perhaps they will have done something. Don’t talk to me until then. Bush is still smirking. Support for military families, um yeah, shouldn’t they already be doing that? If you want to honor military families, end the war and bring our loved ones home. Bush doesn’t trust the people, he just hopes they are hysterical enough and have a flag tied around their eyes so that they can’t see him for what he is. Goddess help us.

It’s over! Douchebag’s last State of the Union. Unless he declares himself dictator.

Come on Kathleen Sebelius, don’t make us look like a bunch of yokels! Wow, go liberal media. They are being really critical of the speech. As Bob Schieffer said, “…not one for the history books.”

This is why I love Barack Obama!

2008-01-04T17:13:00.000-06:00

Here is Barack Obama's speech from the Iowa caucus last night, and why, in my opinion, that he should be the next president.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=ZtBr39yNoXE

Conditions of manifestation (We're all like sunflowers...)

2007-11-10T23:25:00.001-06:00

It's been kind of a tough week. Erik's grandmother Ann passed away rather unexpectedly last Saturday. However, it was a painless, relatively quick death and she was surrounded by all of her kids and a few grandkids. Erik was there for her last breath and got to say goodbye. As far as deaths go, hers was the way to go. She will be sorely missed by all of us. In the roughly 12 years that I've known her, she has made me feel like a member of the family. She was also so happy when we visited. I remember making her laugh so hard when I described some person's bagpipe playing on the Campanile during one of my calculus tests as sounding like a bird being torn apart. She just thought that was so funny! I will also miss her gifts at Christmas, not because they were gifts, but because they were so thoughtful. Every single one, whether bought or homemade (usually homemade though) were so personal and thought out. She loved music and eating out when she could, her geneaology work, and most of all, her family. Grandma Ann was a truly wonderful lady and it will be difficult to go on without her. However, she was 85 and led a truly blessed life. It makes me smile when I think about how happy she probably was when she saw her husband, the twin girls that she lost, and her parents (if you believe in that stuff, of course, which I do). We love you, Grandma Ann! Godspeed.

I found this really beautiful Buddhist description of life that really touched me this week. It brought me a lot of peace. Here it is...

"When you come to visit my monastery in France in January or February you do
not see the fields of sunflowers surrounding our village. When you come to visit
Plum Village in April or May you may notice many new fields but you may not
discern that they are full of sunflower plants. When you arrive in late August you
will see all of the sunflowers blooming even though we have many types of sunflowers there.
Looking closely you will see that they are not always the same even in the
same grouping of one type of sunflowers. Each sunflower is unique if you look
closely. The energy of the sun comes from 93 million miles away and arrives to warm the planet, germinate the seeds, and help to grow our sunflowers.
Some of them are taller than others, some have deeper roots, some are broader
or more lean, while other plants may have more flower blossoms and less stems
or leaves. They are each unique.
Sometimes on a corner or on a path through the field a sunflower will be
damaged by foot traffic, high winds, or machinery, or animals. Sometimes
one of them will have their roots exposed by erosion and dry out and die.
These are all the conditions of their manifestation.
The divine or dharma (our teachings) have brought these sunflowers to be manifested at this point in time & space (or into our awareness via the dharma teachings) - in our fields for us to observe and to live with as friends.
Sometimes a perfectly beautiful sunflower dies because of an intruder, accident,
or is bent, broken, or damaged in a storm. Sometimes something may happen at night or when we are not nearby and cannot ascertain what happened to them. They die and we say that the conditions of their manifestation were not correct for their continuation. We are all co-responsible for some of these conditions but for
other factors only the divine and the dharma of that individual sunflower knows
why the conditions did not support their continuation.
This was their path that the correct conditions for their continuation were not available."
-------------Thich Nhat Nanh

KU Football, WTF???

2007-11-10T23:01:00.001-06:00

That's my new slogan for KU. They just beat OSU a few minutes ago. Erik and I stepped outside and you could literally hear people cheering all over town (I added a few celebratory whoops just for kicks, hopefully the neighbors won't beat me up). Fireworks and everything. This is their best start since 1899. To be perfectly honest, I've always been a K-State girl, but being KU alumni and living in L-town, I can't help but get a little exhilarated by this latest win. Maybe the world is coming to an end, I mean, KU Football being good? To top it off, K-State basketball being actually ranked. I think I've entered the twilight zone. I wish the potentate weren't asleep, otherwise we could go to Mass St. and party like it's 1999, or KU football in 2007. Oh well, back to my grad. school applications. After all, that's much more exciting, right?

I'm finally back in school!

2007-09-04T22:42:00.000-05:00

This is my first entry in over a month. I've been too busy moping over my job promotion, or lack thereof. I had hoped to become a managing editor, but apparently that is not going to happen. Oh well, that's okay because I'm finally back in school! I am taking two graduate courses, "Indigenous Perspectives of Natural Resource Management," and an independent study, both with my undergraduate advisor and consequently favorite professor. I've had several classes with him, but this one is definitely the best so far. I don't know if it is because I have the time to absorb the information or because the material is extremely interesting, but I'm really enjoying it. So law school is on the back burner for the time being, but grad school is definitely a real possibility. I am so happy! Now, what to study?

All Hallows Ball

2007-07-22T16:19:00.000-05:00

As I posted early Saturday morning, Erik, Noah, and I went to the All Hallows Ball at Borders Friday night so that I could pick up the 7th Harry Potter Book. It was a lot of fun, but it was very crowded. Erik didn't want to dress up, but Noah and I did. I wore a long, black abaya that looks like a robe from the movie and I dressed up Noah as Draco Malfoy. (I guess that would make me Draco's mom, Narcissa, but that wasn't my intention). I drew him a little Slytherin badge and made a silver and green scarf. I know I'm biased, but he was adorable! Why Draco, you may ask? Because Noah has blonde hair and looks a lot like Draco from the films. If he had red hair, he would have been Ron, black hair Harry, etc. I met up with Becca there and after I dropped Erik off at home, I went back at 1:30. Since my wristband color had already gone, I got to go to the front of the line. After discussing the various theories with Becca and finally getting Noah to go to sleep at 2:30 in the effin' morning, I finally got to go home and read. I finally went to bed around 4:15 and made it through 83 pages. Now I am to 320 pages and am having a really hard time avoiding spoilers from the various news outlets. If I find out the beginning accidentally, I will go on a murderous rampage. I've waited much too long to have it spoiled. Books like those in this series don't come along every day. In any case, we had a lot of fun!

It's finally here!

2007-07-21T02:57:00.000-05:00

I have, in my hands at 3:00 am July 21, 2007, the seventh Harry Potter book. Although I have been waiting a long time, I know many people have been waiting much, much longer. Before I started reading, I thought I would post something so that I can better savor the moments before I begin this final book. This is the final book of what is probably the most enjoyable series of books that I have ever read and I have to admit that I'm a little sad that I didn't discover the books sooner, and that after this, they will be finished. We went to the All Hallows Ball at Borders tonight and it had such an incredible energy. I'll post on that tomorrow. Alright, here I go...

Review of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

2007-07-17T20:47:00.000-05:00

Note: If you haven't read the book and want to be surprised at the movie, don't read any further!!!

My husband and I went on a date Saturday night for the first time since February. We went to see "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix." We also thought that was pretty exciting because the last movie that we saw in a theatre was "Revenge of the Sith" when The Potentate was five months old and he nursed himself to sleep through the first hour of the film.

We went at 6:45 and the theatre wasn't nearly as packed as we thought it would be.
Order of the Phoenix was very well done. It was kept short, which is important. The books, especially this one, are very long and extremely detailed. So much of that is Harry's angst and thoughts, which obviously can't be expressed in film. Of course, the movie-only Potter fan will miss a lot. There is no way that all of the details can be captured in the movie so my theory is, why try? Just read the books! Although I really enjoyed the last four films, they went on so long that I was hoping someone would die and it would be over. This version didn't have that problem and so it is possible to keep your attention span the entire time. The story was altered considerably more than in the other films due to the brevity of the film. Always my favorite, Alan Rickman as Professor Snape was fabulous. There definitely wasn't enough of Professor McGonagall. I am learning to tolerate the new Dumbledore. This movie was definitely a better fit for him as he grows more distant and eccentric. I don't think Dolores Umbridge was evil enough, but perhaps that was for the best. The best new and anticipated character, Bellatrix LeStrange, played by Helena Bonham Carter didn't disappoint. She was just as creepy and demented as I had hoped she would be. Ralph Fiennes as Voldemort was very good, but give him a nose already. He is the most powerful dark wizard ever, he grew an arm back for Wormtail; he can't give himself a nose? C'mon. I think the future filmmakers are going to have a difficult time explaining the storyline with Dudley, Uncle Vernon, and Aunt Petunia since it was skimped over in such great detail. There is a very strong foreshadowing in the 5th book that Aunt Petunia is a squib or a closet witch, and J.K. Rowling herself has said that there is more to Aunt Petunia than meets the eye. We'll see. The death of Sirius Black was unemotional and distant, almost exactly like the book. I was sad in the book and the movie when Cedric died. Once again, not when Sirius Black died, which leads me to believe that he will be the character that gets a reprieve in the 7th book. He was killed with a red stunning curse, not a green death curse. We'll see. Harry won't be left without any family, mark my words. Ron and Hermione rocked as always. Evanna Lynch's performance as Luna Lovegood was pure genius. The whole theatre roared with laughter when, before the infamous kiss, Harry exclaimed that the mistletoe must be filled with nargiles. It was the perfect icebreaker before a first kiss that everyone dreams about. All and all, despite the fact that the 5th book is commonly people's least favorite, the film was very entertaining and fulfilling. It is definitely worth seeing!

It's 3:00 am and I'm blogging?

2007-07-07T02:58:00.000-05:00

I have been up trying to finish my fact sheets for Youth for Technology. They are a group that I do online volunteer work for and they are amazing. However, this week has been so busy that I haven't completed them yet. Time is of the essence because Njideka, the amazing woman who runs YTF, is leaving for Nigeria and Uganda on a working trip for several weeks on Monday and needs the fact sheets in hand. Of course, they need to be edited and then made to look "pretty."
I had planned to finish both earlier this evening but my mom made a surprise visit after work and my dear friend Allison, who recently moved to Indiana for graduate school, was in town and so I met with her and some other of my hijabi friends for dinner. Now I'm finished with the one fact sheet, and I'm gonna have to finish the other one tomorrow because it is 3:00 am and I am exhausted. The Potentate and Male are fast asleep and the only thing keeping me company is a Family Guy Marathon on Cartoon Network. I like Family Guy, but how much can a person watch?
It's really getting to my head (giggity). Alright, to bed I go...

Happy 4th of July!

2007-07-05T20:10:00.000-05:00

Happy 4th of July to all! Once again, I haven't posted anything forever because, for one, there simply isn't anything interesting going on, and two, I have been going to Dog Days (community fitness program) every night. In June, it was only twice a week, but now that it is July it is Monday through Thursday. I've also been doing online volunteer work for a group called Youth for Technology, and of course, tending to my young potentate. There just isn't enough time in the day, ever.

My 4th was good. We went to visit the Brunin side of the family. It wasn't at the usual place, but it was a nice change. As luck would have it, we missed the tornado warning for our area. We haven't had a single severe storm this year, not one, we go out of town for one day and all hell breaks loose. I like storms so missing the only severe storm here this year is a bummer. What can I say, a love of storms runs in the family!

Of course, it wouldn't be the 4th of July if I didn't do a little Bush bashing in honor of Independence Day. Since he is about one step away from declaring himself supreme dictator, wait, let me rephrase, since Cheney is about to declare himself dictator, I figure I might as well say what I can say, while I can say it. Of course, considering that Cheney can't even figure out which branch of the government that he belongs in, maybe we needn't worry about him taking over.

As we watched the fireworks last night, with the patriotic music playing in the background, I sat by myself and reflected on what the 4th of July really means. Independence? Freedom? Fighting unjust wars that we have no hope of winning in the name of national security and the war on terrorism? Having a Marine brother fighting a war in Iraq that I have rabidly opposed since before it even began adds an entirely new perspective. I was fine until they played the Marine Hymn. I sat by myself and wept. How can a country that used to be so proud and noble have slipped to such a level? Most Americans are awakening from the patriotic fog that has surrounded them for the past several years and realizing that every time a young American dies in Iraq and Afghanistan, we as a country die a little as well. These young men and women are our future and everyone time one of them dies, it is like the future of this country dies. These are strong, noble people who believe in fighting for their country regardless of whether the mission is right or not. Military families grow a little more jaded and perhaps don't believe in democracy as much as they once did. Everyone surrounding the family questions what the young soldiers are injured, dying, or separated from their families for, and quietly lower their head in sorrow. They begin to realize that perhaps the United States isn't as just and free as it once seemed to be and little by little, their faith in this country fades away. Everyone simply accepts their fate and settles into an apathetic existence because, really, what can you do? The truth is, absolutely nothing. Sorry for the rant. I guess I just miss my brother. Happy 4th.

Too quiet for too long

2007-06-03T19:33:00.000-05:00

It has been a beautiful and relaxing weekend, well except for a fender bender that we got in last night. There was some event at the Lied Center that was getting out when we were driving down Iowa St. last night. We driving south and came to a stop at the Armory. We had been sitting there for quite some time when we got rear-ended, which of course pushed us into the car in front of us. It was a relatively minor impact, and the people in front of us didn't even bother to check for damage. They squealed away. We're assuming they were drunk. As it turns out, the lady that hit us was drunk and got arrested. We're all okay, but our bumper is really scratched up. The good news is that there is no damage to the front of the car. No matter, if she had insurance, she can pay for it. If not, it's staying that way. On Friday night, my mom came down to visit and we went to Wa, which is a Japanese restaurant. They are arguably the best Japanese restaurant in Kansas, and the greater Kansas City area. Their Ebi tempura rolls, wasabi fish egg rolls, and Nabeyaki udon are to die for. Best of all, the prices are reasonable and the atmosphere is lovely. It's hard to beat that.

Despite that, it was a good weekend, which worries me. Things have been peaceful and quiet for far too long. When I got to thinking about it, nothing really bad has happened for a long time and I figure we are due. Whenever things go well for too long in my immediate family it seems like something horrible happens. With a young child, a brother who is a storm chaser and one who is in Iraq, something is bound to go wrong. It makes me really nervous. Oh well, maybe I'm just imagining it. It's like my therapist says, if you wait long enough, something bad will happen, and if you wait long enough, something good will happen. There's no religious or cosmic basis to it, it is just the course of life.

Junk Food Enabling

2007-05-18T21:11:00.000-05:00

Grrrr... I am in such a mood. I just got back from Walmart, which is probably part of the problem. We needed to get groceries for the week and at this point, Walmart is the cheapest grocery store in town (except for communist Aldy's which doesn't have a very good selection). Well, at least until Walmart eliminates all of the competition, and then jacks up its prices. Every trip to Walmart is like a lesson in health and nutrition. I see more morbidly obese people riding around on motorized scooters than any other grocery store that I have ever been to. Inevitably, I see these people in the junk aisles, not the fruit and vegetable aisles, and stereotypically they are filling up the baskets on their motorized carts with things like Cocoa puffs, Doritos, Pepsi, snack foods of all varieties, and tons of processed foods. Also, let me clarify, when I say morbidly obese, I don't mean, "I'm middle aged, have three kids and/or a busy career and life, and I don't have time to properly take care of myself." I am just as guilty of letting myself go and gaining weight since I've had Noah. In this society, I think it would be more surprising if people didn't gain weight. I'm talking about obesity to the point that stomach-stapling surgery would be less risky than to stay that obese (and approximately 1 in 10 people die from complications of gastric bypass surgery). There are more and more of these people and they are becoming younger. It used to be old ladies in mumus. Now, I have seen children as young as two or three with beer bellies. Of course, their parents are seriously overweight too.

As we shopped, I observed several things. When we are in the fruit and vegetable aisle, there are probably 5 "foreign-looking" people to 1 "American-looking" person. It is almost as if Americans avoid the fruit and vegetable aisles like the plague. The cookie and pop aisles rarely had any foreign-looking people in them, yet they are congested with people who appear to be Americans. Is this a coincidence? Even if the foreign-looking people were born in America, what is it about their cultural background that causes such a difference in grocery shopping preferences?

My next observation was that junk food in all forms is significantly cheaper than healthful food. As far as I know, this is common knowledge. However, why is this usually the case? If it is organic, I understand the logistics as to why it is expensive. Yet, take for example, all-natural non-organic peanut butter. All they do is grind it into peanut butter and place it in a jar. No preservatives or chemicals, just peanuts. Shouldn't the chemicals add costs to production? Apparently not, because regular peanut butter costs $1.99 whereas the "natural" peanut butter with less work and no additives was almost $5.00 per jar. What's up with that? It doesn't make any sense. What is the motivation for buying non-processed or less processed food if you can buy a more familiar, chemically-enhanced brand for $3.00 less. If you are on a tight budget, there is really no room for comparison.

In addition to the fact that junk food is so much cheaper than healthy food, I notice that Walmart almost always has more sales on rubbish food than health food. I wonder if, in general, Walmart prices their junk food artificially low to attract consumers who make bad food choices, knowing that they will keep coming back to Walmart to get their junk food fix. After all, junk food is not as filling and you need more of it to feel full. Therefore, even though it is cheaper than healthy food, people would be more inclined to buy more of it, and in turn, keep coming back for more, thus spending more money than if the food they ate was healthy.

Despite all of the dangers of obesity, I don't think it is in the interest of businesses such as Walmart to encourage people to eat healthy. As long as people are enticed to eat junk, and healthy food remains more expensive, we are bound to remain an overweight society. I guess the most that we can hope for is that we aren't all wearing mumus and riding around Walmart on motorized carts.

Darin's tornado footage and interview with CNN

2007-05-10T19:28:00.000-05:00

My brother Darin's footage of the Greensburg tornado can be found at tornadolive.com. It has video of the Greensburg tornado forming and when they first arrived in Greensburg after the tornado went through. This is his storm-chasing website. It has received an incredible 1,055,509 hits. His videos can also be found on YouTube. Just for your interest here is the transcript of his interview with CNN on Saturday morning.

CNN SATURDAY MORNING NEWS

Tornado Devastates Kansas Town; Severe Weather in the Midwest; Kenya Airways Plane Crashes

Aired May 5, 2007 - 09:00 ET

THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.

BETTY NGUYEN, CNN CO-ANCHOR, CNN SATURDAY MORNING: Well, good morning everybody. From the CNN Center in Atlanta, I am Betty Nguyen. This is Cinco de Mayo, the fifth of May. It's been a stormy day for a lot of folks.
T.J. HOLMES, CNN ANCHOR, CNN SATURDAY MORNING: It has, a rough day, a rough start to this morning for some folks after a rough night. Hello to you all. I'm T.J. Holmes. So glad you could be here with us to start your day.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

NGUYEN: All right, thank you for that Reynolds.

WOLF: You bet.

NGUYEN: Want to toss now, or at least take you to Darin Brunin. I understand he's in Wichita, Kansas. Darin you were there as a storm blew through. What did you see?

VOICE OF DARIN BRUNIN, STORM CHASER: We were actually following the large tornado up Highway 183 south of Greensburg. And it appeared to be a very large tornado when we saw it.

NGUYEN: We've been looking at pictures of it. It looks like a wedge-shaped tornado. When you say "very large," the word that we're getting is somewhere from a half mile to a mile wide. Is that what you saw?

BRUNIN: We're definitely thinking a mile wide. When it hit Greensburg, we were probably three to four miles south of it, and it was just, it was huge. And you could tell it really meant business.

NGUYEN: Yeah, it did, especially looking at the damage that it caused. As you were heading into the path of this storm, a lot of people were obviously getting word that it was coming into their neighborhoods. What was the warning like? Did you hear lots of warnings on the radio as you were headed toward the storm?

BRUNIN: Well, being a storm chaser, we did have live radar with us. Chasing at night it really helps. We knew there were warnings, and we actually talked to some residents in the community, and they said that they had plenty of warning, from what we could tell, at least 20 minutes.

NGUYEN: Was this a slow-moving storm? It caused so much damage. We're just trying to understand how big, how massive and how quickly it moved through the area.

BRUNIN: Yeah, it was definitely a slow-moving storm. I mean, you have a big tornado like that that moves slower, it can tend to do a lot more damage because it's over an area for a longer amount of time.

NGUYEN: But how long was it over the town of Greensburg?

BRUNIN: I couldn't answer that. I mean, I would say, you know, a minute or two. You know, it was moving slow, but, you know, it was still moving along at a decent pace. You can get storms that move a lot slower than that.

NGUYEN: So as you watch this and you're headed to where this tornado is moving into, that being the town of Greensburg, when you got there, what did you see?

BRUNIN: Well, actually, before we got to Greensburg, probably five miles south where the tornado had crossed, right on Highway 183, we actually ran into a resident who was waving his arms at us. We actually picked him up and took him to some of his family so he could get in contact with them. But as we approached Greensburg, we arrived before most of the emergency responders. And it was really a scene of shock, you know, disbelief. You know, there were people walking on the highway just in shock, you know, not even knowing really what had happened, you know. It was injuries and dogs limping around. Before we got to Greensburg there were a herd of cows on the highway that was severely injured. So it wasn't a pleasant sight to see at all. It was very horrible.

NGUYEN: I can only imagine. We spoke with a storm chaser a little bit earlier, and he was saying that, essentially what you're saying, people were just walking down the street like something out of a horror flick. He kind of related it to like a zombie movie. People really didn't know what had happened. All they knew was that parts of their home and their town was just picked up and destroyed, leaving them injured.

So you talked about the people. Well, what about the buildings? What about the downtown area and the communities? What did you see in the wake of any kind of damage there?

BRUNIN: It seemed like the western part of town was hit a little bit harder than the eastern part. Still some houses standing, or more houses standing, I should say, in the eastern part of town, but in the western part of town, it was just, I don't even know how to describe it. It was just --

NGUYEN: Was it leveled? Did you see anything standing?

There was still structures standing, but we did run across homes that were completely leveled and some clean foundations, which would hint at a very violent tornado.

NGUYEN: Mm-hmm, yeah, especially with such a large wedge tornado that blew through there, and you saying fairly slowly, as in the case that some tornadoes will move by, and it caused so much destruction and the fact that they've just been on the ground for so long, even though a minute or so doesn't seem like a lot, when you're talk being really forceful winds that can do the damage that we're seeing right there. Darin Brunin, a storm chaser joining us live by phone from Wichita, Kansas, thanks so much for your information.

T.J., as we are looking at this video here of some new daylight video coming into CNN, you can see just the bricks on the ground, you can see parts of buildings that have just simply collapsed. Don't know exactly which building this is in particular, but we do know that 80 percent of the hospital there in town was damaged. One portion of it, in fact, collapsed, and there were patients inside at the time.

HOLMES: And the crazy number we just heard a minute ago, we've been talking, 75 percent of the town is what emergency officials are saying. But someone from the Red Cross we just talked to a short time ago said they're hearing maybe 90 percent of this town may have been touched in some way, damaged or destroyed by this tornado. So either way, 75, 80, 90, heck --

NGUYEN: It's a high number.

HOLMES: Fifty percent, whatever it is, it's unbelievable for this small town. We are keeping an eye on this story with those folks in Kansas, who went through a nightmare last night and waking up on that nightmare today.

NGUYEN: Still this morning.

HOLMES: Just devastated by that tornado. That story continues to develop at this hour and we will continue to bring you the latest. .

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

HOLMES: We're continuing to keep an eye on the situation in Greensburg, Kansas, where the word is that at least one person has been killed and dozens more, up to 60, at least, have been injured after a massive tornado tore through the town of Greensburg, a town of about 1400 to 1600 people. We're continuing to get some of the first daylight pictures, pictures continuing to come into us of the devastation there. Estimates from the Emergency Management and American Red Cross is that 75 to 90 percent of the town has been touched.

This is the high school, we're being told, that we were just looking at there, a high school that has been heavily damaged, at least. But some of the daylight pictures giving us a whole new perspective of what they went through last night. Again, several injured, several possibly still trapped under buildings that have collapsed, and including the hospital that is there that we were told earlier is pretty much destroyed.

We do want to hear now -- we just showed you a picture of that high school. We do have sound now from a student that we want to take a listen to that we just got into the CNN newsroom.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP) UNIDENTIFIED MALE: We have no basement, so my mom stayed with our next-door neighbors in their basement, and we had no idea until like 3:00 in the morning last night when she finally called, so we were worried.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: We came to help clean up, but we don't even know where to start, so.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

HOLMES: And that is pretty telling. That last word we heard from that student came to clean up, and look around, and it just seems hopeless in some of those situations, impossible to really clean up when there's such devastation and such damage. We are keeping an eye on this story all morning. Make sure you stay here with us for it.

More flood pictures

2007-05-10T19:17:00.000-05:00

People never fail to amaze me...

2007-05-07T20:15:00.001-05:00

People are crazy, there's no doubt about that. However, when people become parents, particularly mothers, usually even seemingly the dumbest person usually develops an animal instinct for protecting their children. Case in point today. Over the weekend and last night, we have had massive amounts of rainfall and the Kansas River here in L-town is raging. I am terrified of flood waters, in fact, I even have dreams that I am caught in the middle of a patch of land surrounded by the type of flood waters that were flowing over the dam today. So when Erik thought it would be fun to go and look at the river water flowing over the dam in north Lawrence today, I thought it would be neat to see, and reluctantly agreed to go along. Obviously, we had Noah with us and so we strapped him very tightly into his stroller. We walked along the levee trail and ventured down a little closer to the water. We were still at a very safe distance. I noticed a sheriff's deputy walking about the levee trail. I remarked, "Surely, no one would be stupid enough to get close to the water." It was so absurd that we put it out of our minds. In the spirit of Frank and Erica (hi Erica!) I took quite a few pictures. Noah was getting restless and trying to get out of his stroller so we decided to leave. It was just too scary to think about. As we began to walk up the hill, we saw a young mother walking with her daughter who was maybe three, and holding a baby who couldn't have been more than five months old. The mother said, "C'mon, honey, let's go stand in the water." We turned around and stared. "No, she wouldn't," I told Erik. Lo and behold, the mom, the baby, and the little girl went and stood in the water and nearly got knocked over by a surge in the water. I was so awestruck and angry, I just stood there. I couldn't even say anything. This woman was risking not only her life, but the lives of her children. Two feet out, there is a steep drop-off. If they would have slipped, the current would have dragged them to the bottom of the river.

I don't pretend to be the perfect mother and I've done my share of stupid things, but for God's sake, why in the hell would you stand in a flooded river with two young children??? If she has a death wish, go ahead, but at least leave the kids on the shore so they don't have to suffer for her stupidity. Once again, my faith in humanity has flown completely out of the window, or at least down the river.

More pictures later. They don't want to upload right now...

The rest of the rat pup photos

2007-05-07T19:56:00.000-05:00

It has taken me way too long to post the rest of these pictures, but alas I am doing it. Between law school application stuff, rat pups, having a two-year old, a husband in school, online volunteer work, and my full-time job, it seems like I have had no time to sit down and update this blog. Oh well, I'm doing it now. Here are the photos of my rat pups that are almost fully grown at this point. They are so cute, but the girls are quite the escape artists. Only one has found a home so for now I'm the crazy rat lady. Oh well, being called a crazy rat lady is better than feeding the poor things to snakes.

2 of my 12 rat pups - 1 wk old

2007-03-21T18:47:00.000-05:00

Big Rat News

2007-03-15T21:41:00.000-05:00

I bought a female companion for my other female rat about three weeks ago. They had been getting along very well until this past week when the new rat became very aggressive. Our friends Becca and Daniel were over on Saturday and I was showing them Mr. Willingham and the girls. Loren bit me for no reason, really bad, which is extremely unusual for a rat. Last night, she attacked again. I picked her up to inspect her and realized that she was extremely pregnant! It virtually happened over night. Apparently she was pregnant when I bought her at the pet store (which is a good lesson on why you should not buy female feeder rats I guess). She gave birth today and she has a lot of pups. However, I don't know how many because every time I try to look she lunges at me and I don't want to press the issue. I'm a rat mom! It was funny because I told Erik last night and he was like, "Oh my God, what are we going to do?" I said, "It's the rat that's pregnant, not me." After that, he was okay. I don't know how I am going to find homes for them, but I have to admit that I am excited. There is an incredible energy of new life in the house, and I have six weeks to enjoy it!

Finally, Spring, and the new Harry Potter trailer!

2007-03-09T20:01:00.000-06:00

I think spring has finally arrived! Tonight as we were driving in the country, I actually heard frogs, the first true sign of spring. Yesterday, I did some gardening and was pleasantly surprised to see that my Jacob's Ladder, chives, and other plants were green and happily growing. From myown physical point of view, I can tell because I finally have more energy. Even though I am known for my intense dislike of the sun, I have to admit that when the sun comes out and the temperature warms up, my energy level increases about 10-fold. I clean, organize, and finish projects that I haven't touched all winter. Yeah! Finally, finally, finally!

Oh, on a summertime note, as most everyone knows, the 5th Harry Potter movie, "The Order of the Phoenix, is coming out, as well as the 7th book. I inadvertently found a link to the trailer for the film and it looks really good! The people who have seen the rudimentary screening of the movie are giving it rave reviews, which means a lot because loyal Harry Potter fans are notoriously critical of the film versions of the books because they usually lose so much! Here is the web address to the the trailer. (Sorry I tried to hyperlink it, but to no avail.) Enjoy!

http://www.trailerdownload.net/remote/2239

LSAT Stages of Grief

2007-03-07T19:57:00.000-06:00

I finally got my LSAT Score. It certainly took them long enough. My score was decent, but I think I will take it again so that I have a better chance at scholarships. I don't know. The next time I can take it is in June so I think I will decide closer to then. In the meantime, there was a really funny posting on one of the law school forums that I have been reading. The backstory is that for the first time ever, there may have been two different experimental sections on the LSAT. Everyone was going crazy. Kaplan said that the experimental section was definitely Section 1(and according to them, they are never wrong). However, many people, including myself, were absolutely sure that it was Section 3. We all hoped that it was Section 1 because it was very difficult, but we knew that it was Section 3 because it was so easy. As it turns out, depending on the version of the test any given person had, it could have been Logic Games or Logical Reasoning.
Here is that posting by dansmeek at Top Law School Forum.

LSAT Stages of Grief:

i think i've entered into step 5 of my 'realization that my experimental section is section 3 phase'.

i went thru the first phase (denial) rather quickly -- well partly because i've been preparing in the back of my mind that the harder sectino had to be the experimental.

then i progressed to anger 'god damnit stupids tls posters, just tell me its section one and be done' and moreso towards the lsac 'how dare they make more than one experimental, it is my right as a human being to be entitled to a single cross sectional experimental sectino for the lsats, and i have been violated!'

next was my most difficult stage: bargaining. 'Just please, let me have it be section 1... you can change it to section 3 just a few days after the test, but when I get my test results, just tell me its section 1, please? I won't tell anyone, I promise'

i then went to workout where i progressed to depression 'i cant believe i did so bad on section 1. what am i doing. maybe i should forget this lawyer business and become a dentist, or a circle K attendant.'

And finally acceptance. Maybe I didn't do so bad on section 1. Just cuz I guessed on 2 questions isnt that big of a deal. I could have easily missed a ton more on section 3 for all I know. Maybe I actually did better on section 1 than I did section 3. I am ready. I don't want to struggle anymore

now please.... GIVE ME MY SCORE!!

Interview with the Vampire, I Mean Phlebotomist

2007-02-26T21:47:00.002-06:00

I donated blood for the first time today. I have to say, it was not that bad. I'm really tired tonight, but it didn't hurt. It was part of the annual blood drive at work. The creepiest part was that the phlebotomists keep leering at my veins, prodding at them, telling me what great veins I had. Now, I'm not one to brag, but I do have plump, voluptuous veins. However, I felt like I was being circled by vampires. Nonetheless, I am really happy that I did it, and I will definitely donate blood in the future.

As for the question of how my LSAT went, I don't know. It definitely wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be. Of course, it wasn't easy either, but it was manageable. I was able to complete the sections with a little bit of time left in each section (not in the Logic Games section though). I have a good idea of what section was experimental. However, the January 2007 LSAT was undisclosed so I'm not allowed to say which I think it was. I hope I don't have to take it again, but I suppose that wouldn't be the worst thing in the world.

I also have a MySpace account now which I am cross-linking with this site. I swore I would never do MySpace, but it will be the easiest way to communicate with Derek while he is in Iraq. He called me from Kuwait, which was pretty cool because no one has ever called me from Kuwait before. He is supposed to be in Iraq very soon. Oy.

Tomorrow's the Big Day

2007-02-09T21:30:00.000-06:00

I have my LSAT tomorrow morning. Once again, I am in full panic mode. I keep going back and forth. I'm fine, then I'm very nervous. Tomorrow is the big day. Noah is spending the night away from us for the very first time so that I at least have a chance to sleep well. Everyone has been very supportive. I ask Erik to make me feel better and he always starts out with "I'm going to do well on the LSAT, because I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me." Then he tells me why he thinks I will do well. I've studied as much as I can, I'm prepared, and I know the format inside and out. If I don't do well, I will take it again. It's not like it's the end of my life. At least I'm not going to Iraq like Derek is. He goes back to North Carolina on Sunday and will deploy to Iraq in a couple of weeks. The LSAT is nothing compared to that. He has to survive using every sense he has, I have to fill in a bubble grid with a number two pencil. There's really no comparison. We have his going away dinner tomorrow night and that's it, we won't see him for 7 months (insh'allah). Oh well, I'll focus on one thing at a time. Wish me luck!

Wedding Anniversary Homemade Gift Ideas

2007-02-01T17:25:00.000-06:00

Tomorrow is Erik and my 5th wedding anniversary(legal as opposed to Islamic). I have vowed to buy nothing new for an entire year. Admittedly, I can buy gifts for other people, but I would really like to make Erik a homemade gift, but I have no idea what. I could buy him Royals tickets, but that is so predictable because I have done that for about 4 different occasions. If anybody reading this has any ideas for great homemade gifts (besides food because I have plenty of ideas for that), please post them as soon as possible. I am going crazy. On the bright side, Erik hasn't mentioned our anniversary at all. I'm sort of hoping he forgot because that will give me longer to figure out the perfect gift. Ideas please!!!

State of the Union Point by Point

2007-01-23T23:21:00.000-06:00

Warning: The following State of the Union response is dripping with sarcasm and indignation. It was done in real time, so it is not necessarily grammatically correct.

Also, there are 30 instances of clapping and/or standing ovations. That works about to be about one standing ovation and/or instance of clapping every 1.7 minutes in a 50 minute speech

8:00

I really hate politicians. Watching as Katie Couric called it, “the cocktail party atmosphere” it is clear that none of them have our best interests at heart.

A standing ovation? What the hell? All he has done is stand there and look stupid.

Aaah, Bush is a champion of womens’ rights. What a crock! I like Nancy Pelosi, but please don’t patronize us. Alright, let’s get on with it. Noah’s clapping, what kind of child am I raising? Time to sell him on the black market so he doesn’t turn into a little Republican. (Just kidding)

8:15 Wow, perfectly choreographed. Cheney looks like crap. This nation has prosperity? There aren’t any jobs. Oh Lord, here starts the clapping. He’s worried about our children’s futures, but won’t acknowledge global warming. I don’t care what he says, we don’t have a growing economy. Wages are rising, where, in India? More clapping, bullshit! Three economic reforms:

1) Balance the federal budget that he unbalanced, without taxes (more clapping and standing ovations, what the f---? Spending discipline, where is this man president. Within the next five years? Hey, don’t we have a war going on? I guess I’m a little confused.

2) No more earmarks. Who cares? More clapping, just kidding. Seriously, more clapping, because he wants to reduce the amount of earmarks by half.

3) Entitlements – Social security, Medicare, etc. Glad I have a 401K stewing because Bush wants to save social security. Public schools, I guess that’s why Bush went to private school. NCLB is a success apparently. How revolutionary! None of the school teachers or educators I know think that it is a success.

Noah was crying, but Bush must have declared himself dictator because he just got another standing ovation.

Two new healthcare initiatives:

1) Tax deduction for those with health insurance. An equal playing field for all Americans. How does he propose to fund this? There must be some sort of Republican junta that pledged to clap for everything. Small association health plans, better information technology, flexible spending accounts, price apparency, and of course, medical liability reform so the physician isn’t penalized when he accidently removes your liver because he thought it was your heart.

2) Immigration – Oh here we go. Temporary worker program. Suddenly the Republicans aren’t applauding. Verifying workers at construction sites, goodbye industry. John McCain looks like someone just punched him in the eye. No amnesty, now no one is happy. Why the hell is Nancy Pelosi standing up? There’s old “Botched Joke” Kerry.

We (dddissruptions) are held hostage by hostile regimes (like the Saudi family that he is such good friends with?) Renewable energy and newquler (sic) energy.

8:30 Once again, perfectly synchronized. We are going to reduce gasoline usage in the U.S. by 20 % in the next ten years. Perhaps someone should tell the military since they are the world’s large consumer of petroleum. Doubling the capacity of the SPR. More clapping… Where does he propose to turn Alaska into a gigantic refinery.

Here’s the part, where he tells the Congress that they better approve all of his judicial nominees or he will kill them. Some booing. How annoying. Every time they mention national security they show Michael Chertoff. Why is Nancy Pelosi standing up again? Don’t stand up you pathetic wench! Once again he is attempting to link Iraq to 9/11, but at the same time, saying there is no link. Another standing ovation, for God’s sake. Stupid look and fake accent. How in God’s name is this man our president?

Alright, “Demonizing Muslims time” Muslims are pure evil that want to impose their will on everyone. Iran bashing time, let’s kick their ass. Hizballah eh? That worked out well for Israel this summer didn’t it? Once again, no delineation between Islamists and regular Muslims. Going to the grocery store should be fun tomorrow. If these people don’t agree with Bush, why are they clapping. “Arrrgh! I say, for the sake of our own security, we must convert all Muslims to Christianity I can’t believe that he is using Afghanistan and Lebanon as examples of democracy. More clapping.

Are we antagozing Iran and Syria now?

Iraq War section 8:45

“We can still shape the outcome of battle and achieve victory.” Another standing ovation. Re-enforcements will be promoted here. The Iraqis are not yet ready. If not now, when, I wonder. Another 4,000 Marines to al-Anbar province, more clapping. Probably because their brothers aren’t going to al-Anbar province. I wonder if he realizes that al-Anbar isn’t the province that Baghdad is in? Securing Baghdad is top priority. If the U.S. pulls out, the government of Iraq will collapse. Epic battle between Shias and Sunnis across the Middle East. More clapping and of course, a standing ovation. Claire McCaskill, sit your blonde butt down and Bush quit smiling. This is not a smiling matter. It is our lives, not yours, ordinary Americans someone you are painfully out of touch with. More clapping and standing ovations. In short, we are never leaving Iraq. Ever. If you don’t support Bush, you don’t support our troops. More clapping, small standing ovation, more clapping, big standing ovation. Nancy Pelosi, you are driving me towards libertarianism. Respectful yes, pushover no. The United States is using the U.N. more clapping, standing ovation, Condoleeza Rice just rolled her eyes, what’s that about? The UN we blatantly ignored when we went to war in Iraq. Now, Israel, North Korea, Belarus, Burma, and Cuba, Darfur, another standing ovation, clapping. Holy crap, we’re declaring war on a lot of countries. “To much is given, much is required?” Now we’re declaring war on HIV AIDS Africans. He won’t provide condoms but he has saved 50,000 lives. Expanded debt relief more clapping. Oh wait, not for student loans, for other countries. Now he is talking about a Houston Rockets player. Another standing ovation. Wow, Dikembe is tall. He could probably stomp some political ass. Wow, the Baby Einstein lady. The great enterprising spirit. Bush More clapping standing ovation. Wesley Autrey, a true hero. I bet he didn’t really say the thing about freedom. Nobody even acknowledged the black man in the gallery till now. SO and clapping. Army guy, Rehman silver star winner, clapping for himself, seems odd. SO and, you guessed it, more clapping. Correction, we are an honorable country, he is not an honorable leader. The final standing ovation and clapping.

The Perfect Turkey Salad

2007-01-08T20:41:00.000-06:00

We roasted a turkey last Friday. I brined it for 48-hours before I baked it and it turned out so perfect and moist. Of course, you can only eat so much plain roast turkey. Therefore, I have created the perfect gourmet turkey salad recipe for turkey leftovers. The ingredients are all approximate and I used the best possible ingredients available.

7 c leftover roast turkey, chopped in a food processor
2 c mayonnaise (best quality available)
1 tb whole grain mustard
1 tb lemon juice
1/2 c dried cranberries (apple-juice sweetened)
1/2 c roasted sliced almonds
4 tb celery (finely chopped)
4 tb green onion
salt and pepper to taste

Mix together. We buy rosemary italian round bread from the local bakery. However, I realize that not everyone has that option. Therefore, any good bread such as a fresh baguette will do.

Anyways, in other news, for the record, I cannot wait for the LSAT to be over. I am really tired of it. It is never easy to study for the LSAT, but with a sinus infection it is even worse. I think I'll watch Family Guy instead of studying for the rest of the night. Of course, when I get my disastrous results, I'll be thinking, "Geez, I wish I had studied for the LSAT instead of watching Family Guy." I'm rambling. After two pointless posts in a row, maybe my next post will be worth reading. On the other hand, I did include a really great turkey salad recipe so maybe all is not lost. If anyone tries this, please let me know. I think it is good, but feedback would be appreciated.

Happy New Year!

2007-01-07T22:43:00.000-06:00

Hi there! It has been way too long since I have updated this blog. I have so many people I need to e-mail and call and just haven't done it (if anyone of those people are reading this, I apologize). Between a sinus infection, the holidays, studying for the LSAT, having oral surgery for my orthodontic work, and Noah having an ear infection, I have barely had time to think, let alone write. However, one of my resolutions for the new year is to update my blog at least once a week, and I will do it, even if they are short posts. Derek leaves for Iraq in about a month, and I take the LSAT in a month, and Noah has a birthday, you guessed it, in a month. I will post more tomorrow...

My personal statement of hijab

2006-11-12T11:23:00.000-06:00

I think I need a break to sit back and re-evaluate why I cover my hair and what it means to my Islamic identity. I think I did it too fast. I wanted acceptance by my fellow Muslims and by wearing hijab, you gain that acceptance. As an American, you face a lot of skepticism when you become Muslim. When I started covering my hair, I gained acceptance from the Muslim community. As of late, I have decided that wearing the scarf for this reason is unacceptable. The hijab is supposed to be a symbol of modesty and a mark that you are Muslim. You wear it because you want to, not because someone else wants you to. That is the freedom of hijab. You make the conscious choice to wear it, particularly when you are not raised in that tradition. Therefore, I don't think that I have been wearing hijab for the proper reasons. I find myself wanting to wear it when I hear that Muslims have been oppressed, or when countries such as France try to ban it. However, when you wear hijab, you can't be a fair weather fan, so to speak. When you make the decision to wear it, you wear it all the time (well, except when you are at home, which is a common misconception). Likewise, if you make the decision to not wear it, with the exception of prayer, it doesn't make a lot of sense to switch back and forth. Professionally speaking, I don't think the scarf is doing me a lot of favors. I think there are too many subconscious insinuations that come with the scarf. It's not an intentional act, but I think it is engrained in the subconscious of most Americans. I think I am more confident without it because I know people are looking at me, for me, not my scarf. Now, in Islamic countries, this would be quite the opposite case. However, the point of hijab is to blend in and not draw attention to yourself. In the United States and Western world, you do draw attention to yourself, something that I am not comfortable with. Hijab and the decision to wear the scarf is a very personal decision and no one else should dictate it for you. Muslim women everywhere have the absolute right to decide if hijab and even niqab are right for them, and no one has the right to tell them that they have to or cannot wear them. This is my choice and no one can tell me otherwise. Now, let's see how accepted I am, how supportive the Muslim community is, and how many rights Islam affords women. I should say, just because Islam does, doesn't necessarily mean that the Muslim community will. Just another chapter in my mid-twenty something jihad, I suppose.

Election Update

2006-11-12T11:05:00.000-06:00

After the shock of last Tuesday, I am finally ready to sit down and gloat. I think I have been in a state of disbelief. I honestly didn't think that the Democrats would take control of the House and the Senate. I thought it would be one or the other. Even the Kansas results were pretty remarkable. They are as follows:

Paul Morrison (D) defeated Phill Kline for Attorney General
Kathleen Sebelius(D) defeated Jim Barnett for Governor
Nancy Boyda(D) defeated Jim Ryun for the 2nd congressional district rep.

In Missouri:

The stem cell initiative passed, despite the fact that it was losing when I went to bed. Yay!
Similarly, Claire McCaskill defeated Jim Talent. If you'll note in my last post, I had Jim Talent winning when I went to bed, but she came from behind and won!

Of course, there were others, but these were the big ones that I was concerned about. Now, that the Democrats will be taking control in January, I hope that they do not squander this fabulous opportunity and get bogged down in partisan squabbling and Republican blackmail. I think that this election was a call by voters for moderation. Voters don't want the rightwing or the leftwing, they want moderate, common-sense solutions to very serious problems facing this country. People are tired of the extreme divisions. I have always been more left leaning, but anymore, I just want moderation, and I think that is a sentiment that is mirrored by a great many Americans. If Democrats screw up, they will face the consequences in the 2008 presidential election, and I don't think this country will survive another Republican like Bush.

Viva la democratie!

2006-11-07T20:11:00.000-06:00

After a long Ramadan hiatus, I'm back. Eid Mubarak to my fellow Muslims. I haven't written since the first day of Ramadan. Actually, it has been a Ramadan/Harry Potter book/photo album hiatus. I have been assembling my Egypt photo album, finishing the book I wrote for Noah, fasting, and I started reading the Harry Potter series (which I love, by the way). I'm finally reading them. Finally, with election returns coming in, I had to sit down and offer my opinion. I am so nervous that I have butterflies in my stomach. I have e-mailed friends that I haven't e-mailed in ages, I have went grocery shopping, and we took a walk down Mass St. Anything to keep our minds off the election. So far, as of 9:50 pm:

In the 2nd congressional district (which Jim Ryun helped to gerrymander so badly that I don't get to vote in it anymore) Nancy Boyda is maintaining a small but commanding lead. Oh, I desperately want Jim Ryun to lose. However, as long as Phill Kline loses to Paul Morrison in the AG race, I will be be happy.

As of 9:52, Paul Morrison leads Phill Kline 60% to 40%.

The other Kansas races were obviously important, but they aren't near as close as these. However, in Missouri, which matters to me because I have been tortured with the political ads on the Kansas City stations, Jim Talent is beating Claire McCaskill. I despise Jim Talent too. What a jerk! Something about the name Jim and being in Congress. His political ads are shameless.

At the national level, I am thrilled that Rick Santorum has lost. (In your face, you a-hole zealot). I haven't updated the other results at this point. To be honest, I don't know if the Democrats will pick up the majority. It would be a good message to the current leadership that they need to pull their heads out of their asses. However, the Democrats don't really have any solutions to the problems that the Republicans have created so I figure if they don't gain the majority, they will be in a better position in the 2008 presidential election. If it weren't for the fact that my brother is a Marine and going to Iraq in February, I would say, let the Republicans stew in their own juices. However, there are hundreds of thousands of lives at stake so policy shouldn't be made out of spite. We'll see...

Ramadan Mubarak!

2006-09-23T11:57:00.000-05:00

Ramadan Mubarak! To our surprise, Ramadan started last night. This is my first Ramadan in two years due to being pregnant and then nursing. It's going to be a tough one, but I think I can do it. Erik and I woke up this morning at 5:30 to eat suhur, or prefasting breakfast. He scavenged something and drank about a half gallon of water. I had no appetite, but I ate a banana and had green tea and water with an "Airborne" tablet in it. I am trying to ward off a cold, but I don't know if it will work. It's worth a shot though. We prayed fajr and went back to bed. Now I am trying to make sure that I have plenty to do today, even though Noah usually takes care of that. It will be interesting to see how it goes. I've never fasted this late in the evening and the time change has always overlapped. Not this year, and I'll also be fasting on my birthday, which I've never done before. I'll keep everyone updated.

Congratulations to my brother Lance Corporal Derek Brunin who was meritoriously promoted for being first in his LVS/Motor Transport class! He was so proud. We are all very proud of him. He is sending me his plaque for safe keeping so I will actually get to see it. Yeah, finally some really good news, for once.

Katie Couric, Steve Irwin, and other topics of nonconsequence

2006-09-05T18:14:00.000-05:00

I just finished watching Katie Couric's first broadcast and despite my skepticism, she was actually pretty good. The new format reflects Couric's perky, upbeat personality. It is much more optimistic and youth friendly. It will be interesting to see how she carries on when tragedy strikes when the perkiness will be a hindrance, rather than an asset. Of course, while I appreciate the optimistic nature of the broadcast, Americans typically enjoy hype and disaster (provided it is not happening to them) so the optimism may not go over. Of course, maybe it won't last. It was only the first show. Who knows? Only time will tell. In reality, who cares? I don't know why I care. Oh well, I'm not deleting this part now. Apologies...

I awoke yesterday to read the news of Steve Irwin's tragic death. I was actually deeply saddened to hear of his death, although not terribly surprised till I found out that he died from a stingray barb. Of course, the cynical side of me tried to take over as I read that 4 U.S. servicepeople had died in Iraq. "Why should his life be more important than the lives of the young people who died?" I wondered. Their deaths barely made the news, even though their families are grieving just as much as the family of Steve Irwin. I guess it is because the war in Iraq is negative and not something we want to think about, whereas Steve Irwin was someone that pretty much always introduced happiness into our lives. It is as simple as that. People loved to watch him because he was passionate in his love for animals. I've never met the man and I don't know anything about him as a person. However, it is clear that his love for animals was genuine and not an act. People like Jeff Corwin are there to make a television show. I am convinced that Steve Irwin would have kept doing what he has always done regardless of whether the tv cameras were there or not. Anymore, so few people are passionate about anything except themselves. He actually made a difference in the world by allowing people to look at formerly undesirable creatures such as snakes, scorpions, crocodiles, and spiders (to name a few) and make people look at them with wonder and beauty, rather than fear and disgust. When people finally look at all organisms as invaluable and inseparable , instead of only caring about the cute, macroscopic, furry animals, we will truly be able to talk about serious conservation. This is truly Steve Irwin's gift to the world. Thank you Dr. Irwin, and may your memory be eternal.

Introducing our new family member...

2006-08-27T12:02:00.000-05:00

As many of you may know, I have rats. I love them. They are like little dogs, but with a considerably shorter life span. Unfortunately, the last of my rat girls passed on to that big running wheel in the sky last week. Even though Noah is quite a beast, we decided it was pretty lonely around here. Thus, Erik, Noah, and I introduce to you our newest family member, Mr. Willingham, the guinea pig. The rats aren't completely out of the picture, I just don't want to get another one right now. A photo of Mr. Willingham will be posted shortly.

I really hate this time of year

2006-08-26T16:54:00.000-05:00

I really hate this time of year. It is so busy, the students move back into town, and inevitably good friends move away in pursuit of higher goals. Once again, I haven't blogged in a couple of weeks because I have been so busy. Erik started fall classes so everything around here is busy. Last week, I co-hosted a party for my friend and co-worker John, who is moving away to attend the University of Chicago, and one of my best friends, Dusty, is moving to NYC to attend Teacher's College at Columbia University. I am stuck in Kansas for yet another year. I'm starting to think that I'll never escape. Don't get me wrong, life is good right now, but I am ready to do something towards pursuing my career. It is easy to go to work, come home and not have to study, and have family fairly close. However, if I am ever going to get my doctorate, I am going to have to give that up because I can't do what I want to do around here. It will be hard, but I think it will be okay. Also, having Derek in the military will make it easier for me to move because at least if I move away, it probably won't be to my peril. I seriously doubt I would get killed by an IED at Cornell (yeah, it's probably a pipe dream I know, going to Cornell that is) although in this day and age, I guess anything is possible. Sometimes, I really hate change.

Then, as if this time of year weren't bad enough, when the days get shorter, cloudier, and cooler, my seasonal affective disorder kicks in. Fortunately, this year I am on Zoloft so I hope that it will curtail any major effects of the season. I hate the fall, and I hate the winter. I really think I should move south. Too bad everywhere that I want to go is pretty much northeast and/or Canadian (aka University of Toronto, brrrr, likewise with Cornell).

Then, about a month from yesterday or the day before, Ramadan will start. Due to being pregnant or nursing, I haven't fasted in two years. It is going to be really hard to get into the swing of things. I really love fasting. It clears my head and makes me appreciate the little things like having food to eat and clean water. However, the days will be longer for this Ramadan than they have ever been since I have been fasting and the time change won't happen until after it is over. It is said that God locks up all of the Shatans (devils) when Ramadan is happening. It is a lovely sentiment and I am always at peace during Ramadan. Of course, that could be my brain digesting itself (har, har; sorry God, just a little Ramadan humor, please don't smite me).

I have always wondered though, if all of the Shatans are locked up, then why is it that Muslims do bad things during Ramadan, like blow innocent people up? Wouldn't it be evil that causes people to do that? I thought the Shatans were locked up? Does that mean that God wants them to blow people up? That would prove the insurgents theory that God is on their side. Maybe he is, I don't know, but I certainly don't think so (on the other hand, he's certainly not on the U.S. side). Or, is it because people are inherently evil and it has nothing to do with devils. Or, it could be that there simply is no God and I am just wasting my time covering my hair and starving myself one month a year. Sometimes that seems like the plausible explanation for all of the trouble in the world. For some reason I don't accept that theory though, even though I think it sometimes. I need a higher power in my life. Sometimes I just don't know in what form. Oh well, I guess that's all part of my ongoing jihad. I'll figure it out eventually whether I want to or not. I sure hope God has a good sense of humor...

Notes from an apparent Islamofascist

2006-08-10T20:59:00.000-05:00

I have been apathetic lately. No, make that painfully objective. I haven't let my emotions get the best of me. Just in the last year, I feel like I've returned to my old self. Nearly five years after September 11th, and I just now feel like I'm getting back to normal. Before 9/11, I was a, well, there's no easy way to say this, I considered myself to be Republican. I was raised in a small town in Kansas where everyone is Republican, if in name only. I voted for Bush in 2000 and ascribed to the "Sore Losermann" slogan that young Republicans everywhere were throwing around. Then, when he took the presidency, I changed my mind. It was like I suddenly realized how stupid he was. I don't know why I didn't see it before. At the time, it wasn't a big deal. Everyone assumed he would go through his presidency as a lame duck, nothing would change. Of course, 9/11 changed everything. Suddenly, it was as if everything he did was an attack on the Muslim community. Sure, he didn't blame Muslims, but yet every speech that he gave the impression that it was the United States vs. Islam, not the terrorists. It completely polarized the Muslim world. When my husband, brother, and I traveled to Egypt, everyone told us that they loved Americans, just not the U.S. government, and they hated Bush because Bush hated Muslims. In the Islamic world and among people I know, this is a universal sentiment. I haven't met a single Muslim who supports Bush. Lately, he seemed to have toned down the U.S. vs. Islam comments. Well, until today.

With his now infamous "Islamofascist" remark, President Bush has managed to alienate nearly every Muslim who woke up horrified to hear about the alleged terrorist plot. I instantly felt myself go on the defensive. I thought, "He just called Muslims 'Islamofascists,' not the terrorists, but Muslims." Never mind the fact that if this plot had been carried out, it would have been devastating, catastrophic, I can't even really find the right word. Having flown American airlines to and from London Heathrow on the way to and from Egypt makes it a little more real and a little more terrifying. Yet, the fact that he used the term "Islamofascist" was on the forefront of my mind, and the fact is, if it is on the forefront of my mind, it is on the forefront of the minds of potentially billions of people around the world.

I feel completely polarized again. The moderation is gone. Now I am so busy defending myself and my fellow Muslims that I tend to lose sight of the fact that there is a bigger issue at hand.
The issue that extremists have hijacked this religion, and every time that Muslims go on the defensive trying to explain that Islam is ultimately a peaceful religion, they end up sounding as though they are defending the terrorists.

While the vast majority of Muslims condemn terrorism and the taking of innocent life, they don't necessarily disagree with the political views of terrorist groups such as al Qaeda or Hizbollah. Most don't think Israel has the right to exist, they resent Western imperialism, and they think the Saudi government sucks, to name a few.* They may not condone terrorism, but they are definitely sympathetic towards the terrorists, particularly when Bush pits the West against Islam. Therefore, why speak out against the terrorists when they are the only force taking a stand against the "Zionists and Crusaders?" Governments such as Egypt, Jordan, and Saudi Arabia, staunch U.S. allies, certainly aren't going to do it. They tend to repress innocent citizens under the guise of defeating suspected terrorists, while the terrorists fight against those same governments. After all, if your government was torturing you and you were innocent, and the terrorists came to your aid, who are you going to support? Probably not the government.

I guess my point is that until the U.S. and its Western allies make substantive changes to their foreign policies that at least give the appearance that they aren't waging an imperialist, Christian war against Muslims, Muslims aren't going to take substantive action to help quell terrorism, even though they know terrorism is wrong because in a way, they would be losing their voice, no matter how misguided that voice may be. In any case, this "Islamofascist" will sleep well tonight knowing that this alleged terrorist plot has been foiled. I just hope Bush's careless comments haven't overshadowed the fact that a great many lives, Muslim and otherwise, may have been saved because of these arrests. Your thoughts, anyone?

Evolution 1, Kansas Yokels 0

2006-08-04T19:07:00.000-05:00

I have to say, this has been a good week, at least in Kansas. It looks like the Kansas State Board of Education is going to shift to the middle once again, possibly paving the way for a reversal of the ludicrous science standards that they passed last year. As an evolutionary biology major, I am always insulted when people who know nothing about evolution try to impose their anti-evolution beliefs on me and say I worship Charles Darwin. If they knew anything whatsoever about evolution (or enough to advocate for major changes to an educational curriculum), they would know that Darwin's theory of natural selection is one tiny aspect of evolutionary theory. Evolutionary theory is so much more encompassing and complex than they give it credit for. They always argue that they are simply trying to insert a different way of looking at science into classrooms. Science, by the very nature of the fact that it is science, always introduces alternative explanations and criticisms to its theories. If you read scientific papers on any given subject, there are always a variety of opinions as to what is correct. The best example I can think of is systematics. If you wanted to get KU ecology and evolutionary biology professors in an argument, ask them the best way to phylogenetically classify organisms, and let the fun begin.

My big problem with advocates of intelligent design on the KS School Board is that they
want to insert religion without bothering to really learn anything about evolution. The fact that they refuse to learn just indicates to me that they are doing it for religious reasons because if they dare to question the Bible, they think they will go to hell. Most people who objectively study evolutionary biology soon realize that it is not threatening to Christianity or any other belief system. They usually begin to understand why it is silly for the two to mix. Science is science, and religion is religion. The two should only be mixed in philosophy classes. If they want to advocate an objective philosophy class in every classroom in the state, I am all for it. However, with the educational funding problems that this state already has, I do not foresee that happening anytime in the next 500 or so years.

I sure hope that this moderation in Kansas is indicative of a trend at the national level. If so, the mid-term elections may be very interesting. I don't want liberal or conservative at this point in Bush's term, I just want moderation.

Speaking of Bush and Iraq, top military brass were testifying in front of Congress yesterday including Gen. Peter Pace, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff and Gen. John Abizaid, the head of U.S. Central Command. They acknowledged that Iraq could be headed towards a civil war. Gee, do ya' think? My Politics of the Middle East class studied this topic a year before the Iraq War began and we knew that this scenario was more probable than any other under a U.S. led occupation of Iraq.

This excerpt is from CNN:

"Sen. John McCain, an Arizona Republican, asked Pace and Abizaid if they had anticipated sectarian strife between Sunnis and Shiites a year ago. Pace said he hadn't expected it. Abizaid said it was clear tensions were rising, but he did not expect such a high level of sectarian violence."
http://www.cnn.com/2006/POLITICS/08/03/iraq.hearing/index.html

My question is, "How can an undergraduate political science class anticipate a civil war in Iraq three years before it happens, but the top military leaders of this country couldn't see it a year ago?" I mean, for God's sake. If you don't understand a region (and Gen. Abizaid with his background doesn't have an excuse), then don't start a friggin' war there. Now, in their defense, they may have disagreed with the Bush administration, but due to their position, they felt powerless to do anything but go along with it. However, if Derek has taught me anything about the military chain of command, it is that you speak up if you are asked to do something that you feel is illegal or immoral by going up the chain of command. I guess since Bush is at the top they couldn't go very far. Therefore, they should have resigned. They didn't, and now young Americans are dying in the hornet's nest known as Iraq. I guess it was the same with Hurricane Katrina. Everyone who has watched a National Geographic special on hurricanes knew that New Orleans was a sitting duck, well everyone except the Bush administration. How many people died there? Anyone getting a theme here?

It's Friday. I won't even start on Lebanon and Israel. Have a good weekend!

Master and Snoremander: The Most Boring Film You'll See, and other topics

2006-07-28T20:25:00.000-05:00

It's been over a week since I last posted anything. I have been going to Dog Days three or four nights a week. It has been so hot lately that when I get home I don't have the energy to think of something to write about. I love the exercise though. I am going to be very sad when it ends in a couple of weeks.

Erik and I are celebrating our 6th Islamic wedding anniversary today. I say Islamic because we actually have two wedding anniversaries. There is the July 28th wedding date, which nobody really recognizes except us and the Islamic community, and our February 2nd wedding anniversary which is the legal date and the date that we started dating back in 1996, and the one that our families recognize. We just got back from Paisano's Italian Ristorante, which is always fabulous. I bought him tickets to a Royals game against the Twins next week, and he bought me a silver bracelet with green amber stones and a silver box with Chinese pottery on the lid. Both are very beautiful.

I am sitting here typing, Noah is destroying the house, and Erik is watching "Master and Commander...," that one film with Russell Crowe. If you want my opinion, it looks dreadfully boring, but I haven't actually watched it so maybe it is good. All of I have seen of it involves Russell Crowe and his crew eating and drinking and cheering, then they eat, drink, and cheer some more, then they see the iguanas of the Galapagos Islands, periodically there is tragic music, then they eat, drink, and cheer more. Like I said, yawn. It has been a very relaxing evening so far. I have many topics to discuss, but after thinking about it more, I think I will save that for the next post. Why spoil a good day!

Oh yeah, if you live in Kansas, get out there and vote (August 1st) the State Board of Education wackos out of office, and any of the other social conservatives who want to dictate our lives. Viva la democratie!

One Man's Terrorist is Another Man's Freedom Fighter...

2006-07-13T20:54:00.000-05:00

The last several weeks I have had nothing of importance to write about. Now there is so much to write about that I don't know where to begin. I said in my last post that I would write about North Korea and Somalia. However, the escalating war between Lebanon and Israel has suddenly and unexpectedly taken precedent over everything, including the so-called "low-level" civil war in Iraq. I think the thing that is most disturbing to everyone about this escalation is that nobody knows what is going to happen next. This is threatening to break into a devastating regional war and I'm not sure that the American public grasps the seriousness of the situation. In the past, whenever Israel has delved into Lebanese or Syrian territory, they have retreated relatively quickly. However, due to the continued attacks by Hizballah (arabic: hizb=political party; allah=god; party of God) and the subsequent retaliations are about two feet from spilling into Syria. According to Al-Jazeera (Arabic version), Iran has threatened Israel not to attack Syria or face severe reprisals. Inevitably, if Israel strikes Syria, the U.S. will become involved in some capacity, which will provoke Iran and the scores of foreign fighters who are just waiting to get involved. This is such an unbelievably serious situation that I can't even believe it.

Oddly enough, I just got off the phone with my brother Derek (the Marine) and he had no idea that anything was even going on in Israel or Lebanon. He is relatively sheltered these days, living at Fort Leonard Wood in Missouri, training for his MOS, which is motor transport. His biggest worry is being deployed to Iraq. For a while, he just talked about being deployed, but he never said where he would be deployed. Now, with only four weeks left in his training, I think he is trying to prepare us, as well as himself, for the very real possibility of being sent to Iraq. Maybe this is worst case scenario, but as this point, it seems to be the most realistic scenario. He will be in motor transport, as our neighbor said, "IED bait." I really don't know what I'm going to do with myself. How will I live everyday, just waiting for someone to call and tell me that something has happened to him? I will be holding my breath his whole tour. It seems like torture for military families. War changes people and I love him the way he is. If he changes for the worse, it will be like a death. There is no way that we will not be changed in some way or another by this. I guess we can only hope to come out of it as unscathed as possible. Of course, I worry about Iraq. If everything keeps escalating, God only knows where he will end up. Hopefully, not Iran or North Korea.

It makes me so mad sometimes. I don't know why he had to join the military. I know to some degree why he did, but I don't understand why it seemed like the right answer. I blame his right wing old boss, and I blame Fox News for propagandaizing (my new word) the War on Terror, and of course, I blame American society for glorifying war and violence, but it's not really fair because he made the choice. Derek wanted more for himself and his family and he didn't see any other way.

This brought me to a realization the other day. I abhor violence and the killing of innocents in any shape or form, of course, but I got to thinking about the reasons why Derek did join the Marine Corp and came to a disturbing thought. Derek joined because he wanted to be part of something bigger and better than what he had. He is dedicated to his belief in American democracy and that the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan are the right course of action. Although he believed in these ideals before, the military has further instilled these beliefs in him throughout his training. My disturbing thought was, "Is he any different than a suicide bomber?" Think about it. Suicide bombers are recruited through their absolute belief in good and evil. They are usually vulnerable and ultimately want something better for themselves and their families. They believe they will achieve paradise (although not 72 virgins, I don't know where this bullshit came from) and their families may receive what is tantamount to a blood price for their mission, much like what military families in the U.S. receive if their loved one dies.

Don't mistake me, I don't think my brother is a terrorist and I'm not justifying suicide bombings, particularly of innocents. I know he would never hurt anyone if he could help it, but we're all human and we all have a dark side that I think, when placed under the worst of circumstances, will inevitably come out. However, I guess it all depends on the side that you are on. I'm sure that for all the people that think he is a freedom fighter, there are many more who consider him, by virtue of the fact that he is in the U.S. military, to be a terrorist. It's like they say, "One man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter." It all depends on your perspective I suppose. From my ideological perspective, all killing is wrong because there is never a good enough reason to do so. However, from my perspective as a sister, I would vaporize the entire damn country of Iraq if I knew that doing so would bring him back safe to us. Suddenly, the life of others becomes so cheap. Maybe I found my dark side after all.

I need a vacation...in Paris!

2006-07-09T17:01:00.000-05:00

Well, it has been over a week since my last post. I indicated last Friday that I knew the holiday week was going to be extremely busy, but I had no idea what kind of week I was in for.

Saturday--Erik and I woke up to the phone ringing at 6 am Saturday morning. It was Erik's dad Jim calling to tell us that Sue's (Erik's stepmother) mother Betty had passed away. It was completely unexpected. Jim and Sue had been with her and her husband just a few hours before. She had been in a lot of pain due to a surgery for arthritis, but she had checked into a pain management center and was doing really well. It was very sad. Sue's family is fairly large and so Erik and I spent much of Saturday cooking food for them. Sue is always there for us so it was the least we could do.

Monday--I went to work on Monday. Peter, one of my managing editors, was on vacation so I backed him up. However, it was a totally unproductive day otherwise. It doesn't seem very smart to make people work the day before a holiday that is on a Tuesday. Oh well, what can you do?

Tuesday--Erik went and visited his dad on Tuesday. Jim had been very sick since Sunday, but since there has been a lot of stuff going around, we didn't think much about it. The 4th just didn't feel right this year. We did the usual barbeque at Grandma Bonnie's house. I found out that my dear friend from elementary through high school, Jenny Ward's mother Helen died of cancer last Monday. Unfortunately, I was unable to attend her service because I had already missed work. Helen was a great lady who always treated me so well. I will always remember her for her sense of humor. I remember one time when Jenny and I decided that it would be a good idea to put down pillows and blankets on the floor and launch ourselves off the top of her bunk bed. We were on the second level and directly over Helen, who was watching t.v. I remember her running up the stairs after about the fifth loud "booom!" and saying, "What in God's name do you think you are doing?" We couldn't really hide what we were doing so in the most nonchalant way we could, we explained that we were jumping off the bunk beds. "Well, you're going to come through the floor so stop it." Then, she went downstairs, but I think she was laughing. She was always like that. Helen will truly be missed.

Wednesday--We got home from work and had planned on going to Betty's visitation. However, there was a message from Sue asking us to call her. As it turned out, Jim had appendicitis and they thought his appendix had burst so he had to have an emergency appendectomy on Wednesday night. He came through the surgery unbelievably well and his appendix had not ruptured. As bad as our week was, Sue's week was much worse.

Thursday--We went to Betty's funeral on Thursday at the First Southern Baptist Church in Topeka. I have never been to a Southern Baptist funeral (or anything for that matter), but I can honestly say it is not an experience that I want to repeat. The preacher was like a used car salesman and it seemed that his whole agenda was getting money for their missionaries to convert hethens. I despise missionaries, regardless of the faith, and to be subjected to this crap at someone's funeral seems wrong. Oh well, as it says in "Al-Kafiroon" in the Qur'an, "To you your religion to me my religion. (In Arabic, "A deen kum aletheen adeen"). The service felt like it went on forever, especially with a 17-month old who burst out into a rendition of "Ba ba black sheep" during the first prayer. Finally, we left and visited Jim for a while. I was so exhausted that I didn't go back to work. I went to Dog Days on Thursday night and felt much better. I love working out! It is so hard, but so worth it, especially when you are only doing it for yourself. In high school and junior high, I despised sports. I've come to realize it is because I got tired of people screaming, yelling, and pressuring me to be good at sports that I genuinely sucked at. No wonder I ended up with generalized anxiety disorder and depression. Now that there is no pressure I really enjoy them.

Saturday--Finally, on a good note, Erik and I had a date last night. For Father's Day, I took him to a Royals game. They played the Toronto Blue Jays. It was Buck night so hotdogs, small sodas, and peanuts were a dollar. Since it was a gift, I splurged and bought him good seats and had Mom and Grandma Genny watch Noah. I had never been to a Royals game before. In fact, the only professional sport that I had ever seen was the Blackhawks vs. the Bruins when I lived in Chicago. I saw K-State play football a number of times when I was in junior high. I went with my junior high boyfriend Jarod and his family. If it wasn't for them, I never could have went because there is no way in hell my parents would have taken five kids to any sports event. It was then that I realized that I really enjoyed this sort of thing. Anyways, once again I digress. I really had a wonderful time. The Royals lost and we didn't get any donuts because they only got 8 hits, but it was fun. It was the perfect way to end a really crappy week.

This was a really boring post, but it was incredibly therapeutic for me. Thanks for listening! Next time, Somalia and North Korea...

Independence Day, Indeed!

2006-06-30T20:35:00.000-05:00

What a week! I am so glad it is Friday. However, this weekend and the 4th of July holiday promise to be busy. Independence Day will have new meaning this year since Derek joined the Marine Corp, and since he won't be there with us, it will be one more very stressful holiday. More than ever, I am sure that I will struggle with not making snide comments when the patriotic music roars and the mortars and fireworks go off. At the same time, I'm sure I will tear up when I hear the Star Spangled Banner. Before we had Noah, Erik and I would sit on a blanket behind all of the relatives on the Brunin side of the family and give political commentary on what was wrong with American foreign policy. We thought it was hysterical. Some of my relatives, namely Aunt Debbie, made it very clear that they did not appreciate our political wit. So we stopped. I figured that it wasn't worth ruining their holiday. I wish I could revel in mindless patriotism. I don't mean that badly. I wish I could just enjoy it like I used to, but with everything going on, I just can't.

The funny thing is, I love the 4th of July. It is one holiday where I don't have to try and figure out whether it is compatible with my Islamic beliefs. I'm American, so I celebrate Independence Day. I love the traditional BBQ at the Brunins and I love fighting off the enormous mosquitoes at the park, seeing people I haven't seen in years, and oohing and aahing over the fireworks. For being a small town, St. Marys has an excellent display. This year I am particularly excited to show Noah the fireworks. I don't know what his reaction will be, but it will be fun, I think.

As I was saying, with everything going on, I just can't feel the swelling of pride in my chest that I used to. I think it was 9/11 that everything changed. Before 9/11, it was American Independence Day. Now it just feels like one more reason people have to tell you to shut your mouth. Instead of playing "America the Beautiful," radio stations play Toby Keith's "Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue", reminding everyone why it is necessary to kick the rest of the world's ass if they look at us wrong, or Lee Greenwood, reminding us that no matter how bad things are, we should be grateful that we are in America because being an American makes everything okay. Sure, you don't have any food for your children, but at least you are American!

Then, there was the flag-burning amendment that failed this week (thank God), put through exactly a week before the holiday. I don't know if the resolution that passed today condemning the U.S. media was supposed to coincide with the holiday, but it seemed about as unpatriotic as it could get. I know we are at war and civil liberties die during times of war. They always have in American history. I guess I thought that we had progressed beyond that point. Maybe I am imagining it, but before 9/11, both the liberals and conservatives would have stood up and protested against loss of freedom of the press, or being wiretapped, or having their financial transactions viewed without their knowledge. They knew what was acceptable and what was not. Loss of civil liberties was not acceptable. Now it is as if no one cares, or if they do care, they feel powerless to do anything about it. It's like someone zapped this country with a 25-megaton apathy bomb.

Honestly, I am no exception. I heard about the database of phone records and I was like, "Well, if they want to listen to me discuss the skin problem that my rat suffers from, or how I just purchased new drapes, go ahead." Then I thought, "You know, that is unacceptable. It is none of their damn business that my rat has mites. They are invading my privacy, pure and simple. Why should they get to know about the intimate details of my life when they are unwilling to share information that by all rights, should be public record? You tell me why you need the records and give a good answer, not a generic 'the terrorists will win if you don't' answer, and maybe I will consider allowing them to spy on me on a limited basis (unlikely, but maybe it really is a good reason)."

As American taxpayers, we are entitled to some answers, damn it. I guess that is what is so ludicrous about the resolution passed today. News organizations, whether they be Fox News or the New York Times, provide us with information that we might not otherwise have. They are an unofficial check on the government and they are vitally important. If these news organizations do whatever the government tells them to do, we might as well not have the media. What would be the point? After all this rant, I really don't have an answer. I just know that we should not allow ourselves to become desensitized to these gradual erosions of our civil liberties. When something outrages us, we should tell someone about it. You might end up in an argument or a fight, but at least we're talking about it. We are still exercising our freedom of speech, whether we're conservative, liberal, moderate, Smurf, or whatever.

This 4th of July, I think I will resurrect the political commentary that Erik and I used to engage in. Sure, it will piss people off, but at least we will be capturing the real meaning of Independence Day and everything that it represents. We will truly be celebrating the 4th of July. God Bless America and Happy 4th of July. Let's go raise some hell, American-style!

Hijab vs. Exercise: Round 1

2006-06-27T19:32:00.000-05:00

Alright, I have a confession to make to the world. When I exercise or play sports, I don't wear my hijab. I used to. Honestly I did. When I first starting wearing hijab it was wintertime and in the wintertime, I tend to hibernate, doing very little physical activity except yoga, and consuming mass quantities of food. Mainly my hijab kept me warm. However, spring came and although it was a bit warm, I could handle it. Then came summer in eastern Kansas. For anyone who has spent anytime in eastern Kansas from about mid-April until early October, you know how humid it is. Then the heat sets in.

The first summer that I wore my hijab I was pregnant and on very light bed rest for the first trimester. I only went from my office to home so the heat didn't seem that oppressive. Then, most of the next summer I was working from noon to nine and staying home with Noah in the morning so no real exercise regimen last summer and thus, no problems. However, this year I wanted to get really active. Clearly, age and pregnancy have affected my metabolism because I weigh more now than I ever have (I am fortunate because my BMI is still very good, but I don't want to take that for granted).

When my co-workers formed a softball team, I was happy to sign up. However, I didn't know what to do about wearing my hijab because I didn't want to be a heat-stroke victim. So I wore a bandana. I was still covered, right? However, about 10 minutes into practice, the bandana fell off. I tried to put it back on, but as soon as I went up to hit, it fell off again. "Screw it," I grumbled and threw it to the side. I haven't worn it to a softball game since. I keep waiting for a big bus of Muslims that I know to drive up and say, "Danielle, I thought you wore hijab; I guess you're going to burn in hell. (Not too mention that I play in a coed league and my husband doesn't go to the games, double hell). The funny thing is, that no one knows the difference. I am tall, pale, an adopted blonde,and I have blue eyes. Nobody knows the difference. Even though it is essentially a beer league, I absolutely do not drink any alcohol, an occasional root beer maybe, but not anything else.

I had essentially the same thing happen at Dog Days. For non-Lawrencians, Dog Days is an intense conditioning led by a retired police officer who was tired of high school athletes getting injured because they didn't condition properly during the summer. It meets two to three times a day twice a week depending on the month and has two runs on Saturday. There are approximately consistently 400-500 crazy people ranging in age from infant to elderly, fat people, skinny people, old, young, KU track stars, and people like me, etc. who meet at these times at Memorial Stadium to be tortured by Red Dog. The only real rules are that you do as much as you are capable, no less, no more, and you absolutely cannot laugh at anyone else. I am totally addicted. However, the workouts are very intense and if I were to wear a hijab I am convinced that I would drop dead. Once again, nobody knows the difference and everybody who is there is there to workout, not gawk at the opposite sex.

The point of hijab is to be modest. I can assure you that I am at my most modest when I am working out. Greasy hair, beads of sweat dripping down my eggplant purple face, and big, sweaty stains under my arms and on my back. Most Muslims argue that the point of hijab, other than being symbolic, is to not draw attention to oneself and blend in as best you can. Therefore, it begs the question: If a hijab makes you conspicuous in various situations, should you wear it? Passing out from heat would definitely make me stand out in a crowd. I think working out is a very good thing and I feel so much better after I do it. As a Muslim (as in most other religions), you are supposed to take very good care of your body. I think working out would fall into that category. However, does wearing hijab trump taking care of your body? Is hijab taking care of your body?

In all fairness, I should point out that if I were in an Islamic country, I would abide by and participate in exercise activities that were deemed appropriate by the local population. It is very much a cultural issue. For that matter, is hijab a cultural issue? I suppose I could delve into the Samuel Huntington "clash of civilizations" theory in terms of hijab and women's exercise, but I have already wrote a much longer post than I intended. In closing, is not wearing hijab while exercising my Western cultural baggage and an insult to the Islamic faith, or a pragmatic approach to a religion that is, Qu'ranically speaking, supposed to be practical?

I don't mean to run the hijab issue into the ground, but it was in the forefront of my mind since I went to Dog Days tonight. Also, it has been a slow couple of days news-wise. Well, except for Americans still having freedom of speech since the flag burning amendment didn't pass. Yeah! However, that is another post. Cheers!

The meaning of jihad and a tribute to Dr. Deborah "Misty" Gerner

2006-06-24T11:32:00.000-05:00

Hi! My name is Danielle Brunin and I became a Muslim approximately three years ago. My life as an American Muslim can be a little complicated at times. I am American in every since of the word, yet I have adopted a belief system that can be very foreign to the average American. For example, I don't drink and I don't eat pork. Being originally from a small town in the Midwest, to not drink or eat pork (among other things) is to essentially be from another planet. I was actually raised Catholic and attended Loyola University until I was a sophomore in college when I transferred to KU. It was here that I began to study Africa and the Middle East and became interested in Islam.

I decided to call this site "My mid-twenty-something jihad" because my life as an American Muslim can be rather complicated at times. Jihad, contrary to popular belief, doesn't just mean "holy war." Although it has about 150 different meanings in Arabic, the one that is most relevant to me means "personal struggle", a very deep personal struggle. I feel as though I carry on a jihad in my heart every day, trying to discover who I am and what I should be.

The most relevant example I can think of right now is that my brother Derek who is a proud U.S. Marine (and who I am unbelievably proud of), faces the very real possibility of being deployed to Iraq in the next few months. I cry as I write this because the job that he could be doing entails some very serious danger. I struggle every day to deal with the fact that he may be fighting in a war that I have vehemently opposed since the very beginning, and could kill or be killed by the very people that claim to be my brothers and sisters in Islam. I love Islam dearly, but I don't think my faith in any religion could survive if something, God forbid, happened to him. That is part of my jihad and I don't have an answer as to what is right or wrong because it all seems wrong to me. I believe in peace and social justice in a world where it just doesn't exist. That is my jihad everyday.

Similarly, I want to pay tribute to a dear professor of mine at the University of Kansas, Dr. Deborah "Misty" Gerner who died on June 19, 2006 of metastatic breast cancer. Dr. Gerner had such a profound impact on what I want to do with my life. She was an internationally renowned expert on the Palestinian-Israeli conflict and the peace process. Since I have decided that I want to eventually pursue graduate studies in this area, she was an incredible influence on me. I took her "Politics of the Middle East" class in the spring of 2002 and she taught it brilliantly. She was so objective, I honestly wouldn't have known her opinions on many subjects, except that she attended many of the rallies and protests that I attended. I loved the class where she made the "pro-Israeli" students role play the Palestinians and vice versa with the "pro-Palestinian" students. I loved the fact that she would call on me when I didn't volunteer the answer to a question because somehow she knew that I knew it, and that gave me so much confidence in my ability. I remember that she was so happy that I was studying Arabic and was thrilled that I was going to study abroad in Morocco for the summer. I remember how proudly she wore her black checkered kaffiyeh at a Palestinian protest that I attended, yet she was admired by the counterprotesting pro-Israeli students. I always knew that if I was attending a rally or protest and she was there, that I was undoubtedly doing the right thing. Her commitment to peace and social justice will live on forever.

I sobbed yesterday when I was told that she had stated that she desperately didn't want to die. In fact, I am told she taught her classes even after the cancer had spread to her brain. I am comforted by the fact that she died at home because I can't imagine a free spirit like her being confined to a hospital. I mourn the good that she could have done in another 20, 10, or even 5 years, but the good that she has done will affect the world forevermore. Her death has made me realize my own mortality because even though I know on a conscious level that we will all die, I realized this week that if someone as good and a strong as her can die so young, none of the rest of us have a chance. Dr. Gerner, thank you, and may your memory be eternal.