Monday, January 28, 2008

State of the Union 7: Douchebag's Last Speech

Back by popular demand, my critique of Bush's State of the Union...

Alright, we are all getting a refund, but no tax increase. Is he pulling the money out of his ass? Quit clapping douchebags, he hasn’t improved anything in the last eight years, why would he start now. What is going on? Why the one-sided clapping and all of the veto threats? Does he think we are all stupid? Apparently so. There is clearly a concerted effort by Republicans to stand up and give an ovation every time he smirks. It is very annoying. I am so sick of the clapping. Wow,he just did this thing that looked just like Barty Crouch Jr. Very snakelike. NCLB, yes everyone’s worse off than before. I wouldn’t call it an improvement at all. Faith-based initiatives? Oh yes, just what we need, a Bush’s Christian style faithbi, what are they going to teach kid’s to send other kid’s off to war and then kill innocent people under the pretext of weapon’s of mass destruction. Americans don’t want to buy thing’s made in the U.S., why should we start? Colombia, purveyors’ does he mean perverts? False populism, like he just started off his speech with? Quit clapping!!! Find new jobs, except all of the jobs are overseas, kind of like tax cuts with no tax increases. Wow, people on both sides of the aisle don’t look like they’re doing very well. NUCLEAR, not nukuler. Clean technology, China isn’t a developing country, derr. Obama quit clapping or I’m not going to your caucus. Having a free ride hasn’t been a problem these last seven years. Hilary doesn’t look like she having a good night. Yes, half of our engineers are from India. Moral boundaries? This from this man. He worries about fetuses, but has no qualms about electrocuting mentally disabled people or bombing Iraqi children. Ethical medical research, all life, I guess he only cares about Americans. No cloning? I guess he better declare war on yeast and sponges. Activist judges, look at the supreme court? Charitable choice, yikes. Mary Landrieu, good for you, you didn’t stand up

8:33 Of course, we can’t afford Medicare and benefits, deficits, etc. We could fund these programs indefinitely using the money that we spend before breakfast in Iraq

Immigration- He just completely contradicted himself, enforcement yet allow immigrants in. Republicans aren’t clapping for his immigration policy either. Advancing liberty yet regressing it at home? I think Bush must be an Islamic extremist under the guise of being a Christian, that would certainly explain his tactics. Bush doesn’t

Bush just confirmed that he is a terrorist, evil men imposing their violent rule that’s him. The military guys in uniform aren’t hardly clapping, they only did when they noticed the cameras on them. Other military guy isn’t even clapping They do not look happy. That makes me want to cry. Afghani children aren’t going to school a report just said that school attendance is down in Afghanistan b/c of the resurgence of violence.

Iraq, apparently he doesn’t understand the concept of liberty. Whoa, the soldiers are not happy? What an insult to them, to lie right in front of them. No, troops have our gratitude, Bush has their blood on his hands. Iraqis are fighting the U.S.’s fight, and they don’t have a choice. They can fight or die, but if it weren’t for Bush and Cheney, they wouldn’t be doing either, even under Saddam. Actually, I OBL said that al-Qaeda was growing stronger, solemn pledge that they would have everything they need. Five years too late, wouldn’t you say? He plans to keep troops there as long as he is in office. Marines have come home and not been replaced? That doesn’t do Derek and our family much good, does it? Why is he laughing about a drawdown? He’s not giddy; I think he’s drunk. I guess it’s not his life that’s on the line. Government sharing with the provinces, aka oil companies. Mission has been difficult, but if we don’t succeed, how will we convert all Iraqis to Christianity? Perhaps he should concentrate on Darfur and Pakistan if he is worried about terrorist bases, not Iran. Pervez Musharraf, Benazir Bhutto anyone? Palestinians may have elected Abbas, but they also elected Hamas and that should be respected. Poor Michael Chertoff, he just keeps getting thinner and thinner. Soon he will just be a skeleton sitting in the gallery. E ron, no I ran. Oooh, Iran is so scary! They are just like Iraq, with all their weapons of mass destruction, oh, wait… Iraq didn’t have any. Iran did come clean about it’s nuclear program, you just didn’t like their answer

8:54 Lawful and effective measures to protect our country. You mean like illegal wiretaps? Spying on citizens? Yeah, real legal, effective, perhaps, but at what cost? The terrorists have won. Wow, half the gallery is sitting down. Compassion, conscience, not really hallmarks of his administration. He doesn’t help Darfur, yet he condemns the genocide there. Farming in the developing world? Food and supplies aren’t the problem. Distribution is, and do you think agricultural lobbies in the U.S. are going to allow competition. They can’t afford to, and the corporate farmers aren’t going to allow the competition. Funding for veterans, too little too late? When Iraqi war veterans stop coming to soup kitchens, then perhaps they will have done something. Don’t talk to me until then. Bush is still smirking. Support for military families, um yeah, shouldn’t they already be doing that? If you want to honor military families, end the war and bring our loved ones home. Bush doesn’t trust the people, he just hopes they are hysterical enough and have a flag tied around their eyes so that they can’t see him for what he is. Goddess help us.

It’s over! Douchebag’s last State of the Union. Unless he declares himself dictator.

Come on Kathleen Sebelius, don’t make us look like a bunch of yokels! Wow, go liberal media. They are being really critical of the speech. As Bob Schieffer said, “…not one for the history books.”

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